My Immortal Spelling and Grammer Mistakes Fixed
by gothgirl865
Summary: This is the Google dubbed "Worst Fanfic Ever" I fixed spelling and grammar so it's actually English. Tells the story of goth Mary-Sue Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, and how she utterly destroys canon by making it goth and emo.
1. Chapter 1

My Immortal – Grammar and Spelling Fixed. Can't Say Anything About the Awful Plot Though.

By Tara Gilesbie

Edited by Zoe aka gothgirl865

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does, and I certainly don't own any of the characters in My Immortal that you recognize or not. Chances are, if you don't recognize something, it belongs to Tara Gilesbie. Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's words, not mine.**

Chapter 1

AN: Special fangz *thanks* (get it, because I'm gothic) to my girlfriend (ew, not in that way) Raven, bloodytearz666 for helping me with the story and spelling. You rock! Justin, you're the love of my depressing life. You rock too! MCR ROX!

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Hi, my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back. I have icy blue eyes like limpid tears, and a lot of people tll me I look like Amy Lee. (AN: If you don't know who she is, gt the hell out of here!) I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire, but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts, which is in England, where I'm in the seventh year. (I'm seventeen.) I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I but all my clothes from there. For example, today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it, a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eyeshadow. I was walking on the Hogwarts grounds. It was snowing and raining, so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps were staring at me. I stuck up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was ... Draco Malfoy!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to leave.

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AN: Is it good? Please tell me, fangz.

**Zoe's AN: Yup, this is the first chapter. Let me know what you think. Good bad or indifferent. Flames will be used to heat my shower as the pipes in my cheap apartment are freezing.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Everything you recognize in this story doesn't belong to me. Everything that you don't recognize in this story doesn't belong to me either. In short, nothing belongs to me at all, so don't sue. **

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilibsie's words, not mine._

AN: Fangz to bloodytearz666 for helping me with the chapter! BTW preps, stop flaming my story, OK?

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had. My coffin was black ebony, and inside it was hot pink velvet, with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took off my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven, this is you!) woke up and grinned at me. She opened her forest green eyes and flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup, black lipstick, white foundation, and black eyeliner.

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah, so?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we walked out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No, I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah, right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," I replied flirtatiously.

"Guess what?" he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte is having a concert in Hogsmeade," he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love Good Charlotte. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well… do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

**Zoe's AN: Okay, second chapter up! Since it's Friday night and I'm too sick to go out with my friends, I'm probably gonna stay up really late posting new chapters of this and reading it. It's actually not so horrible yet. The spelling/grammar isn't half bad. I've heard that it gets significantly worse after the sixteenth chapter when 'Raven' leaves.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me at all.  
**_Everything from this point on are Tara Gilesbie's words, not mine._

AN: Stop flaming the story preps, OK!?! Otherwise, thanks to the gothic people for the good reviews. Thanks again Raven! Oh yeah, BTW, I don't own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte.

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On the night of the concert, I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the front and back. I put on matching fishnets on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding, and I listened to some Good Charlotte. I painted my nails black and put on tons of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood, and then I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt, they were gonna play at the show too, baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner. (AN: A lot of cool boys wear it, OK!)

"Hi Draco," I said in a depressed voice.

"Hi Ebony," he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz, the license plate said '666', and flew to the concert. On the way, we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped put of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"_You come in cold, you're covered in blood_

_They're all so happy you've arrived_

_The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom_

_She sets you free into this life!" _sang Joel.

"Joel is so fucking hot," I said to Draco, pointing at Joel as he sang, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly, Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's OK, I don't like him better than you!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively, as he put his arm around me, all protective.

"Really. Besides, I don't even know Joel, and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and took photos with them. We got Good Charlotte concert tees too. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back to Hogwarts. Instead, he drove the car into... the Forbidden Forest!

**Zoe's AN: DUN DUN DUN!!! Sorry, couldn't resist. Okay, I'm gonna nitpick here. Why the hell is Good Charlotte performing at Hogsmeade, they're Muggles, and that's a Wizarding Town. That really isn't that much, but whatever. R & R please! I'd like to know what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Don't sue.**

**Zoe's AN: I was reading on Encyclopedia Dramatica that there is a 'My Immortal' fan club out there, and that they have translated 'My Immortal' into many different languages. The website also said that no one had ever thought to translate it to English. So that is what I am doing. If you want the original work, go to 'http : // myimmortalrehost . webs . com /index . htm' WITHOUT THE SPACES OR QUOTES. Thank you, that is all. Now, onto the story.**

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's work, not mine._

AN: I said stop flaming, OK? Ebony's name is EBONY not Mary Sue! Draco is so in love with her that he is acting different! They knew each other before, OK?

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"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Draco didn't answer, but he stopped the flying car and got out of it. I got out of it too, curiously.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra close, and I looked into is gothic red eyes, he was wearing color contacts, which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness, and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then, suddenly, Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly **(Zoe's AN: WTF? Making out keenly? Sorry, back to awful story.)** He took off my top and I took off his clothes. I even took off my bra. Then he put his thingie **(Zoe's AN: His 'thingie' is his penis, in case you didn't know.)** into my you-know-what **(her 'you-know-what' is her pussy, vagina, whatever you want to call it, you get the idea.)** and we did it for the first time.

"Oh, oh, oh!" I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and pale body became all warm. And then...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING MOTHERFUCKERS?"

It was Dumbledore!

**Zoe's AN: Seriously, I'm beginning to get disgusted by this story. It's just, god. R & R please! I want to know how many other people are freaked out by this. And flames will be used to heat my freezing cold shower.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

_Everything from this point on is Tara's words, not mine._

AN: STOP flaming! If you flame it means you're a prep or poser! The only reason Dumbledore swore is because he had a headache OK? And on top of that he was mad at them for having sex! PS, I'm not updating until I get five good reviews!

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Dumbledore made me and Draco follow him. H kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludicrous fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall, who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad, but Professor Snape said, "Fine, very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you OK, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah, I guess," I lied. I went to the girl's dorm, brushed my teeth and hair and changed into a low cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out...

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom. He started to sing 'I Just Wanna Live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight, and he reluctantly went back to his room.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's words, not mine._

AN: Shut up preps, OK? PS, I won't update until you give me good reviews.

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The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end, a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood, instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that it was running down his face, and he was wearing black lipstick. He didn't have glasses anymore, and he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's. There was no scar on his forehead anymore. He had manly stubble on his chin and a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him. Kind of like an erection, only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

"I'm so sorry," he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days," he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood," he giggled.

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah!" I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me, so I went away with him.

**Zoe's AN: Yeah! I got my first review today! To see who this mysterious reviwer is and what he/she/it said, click on the "Submit a Review" button. After you have submitted your wonderful review, you will be able to see the mysterious reviewer's review!**


	7. Chapter 7: Bring Me to Life

Chapter 7: Bring Me to Life

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

_Everything beyond this is Tara Gilesbie's words, not mine._

AN: Well, OK guys, I'm only writing this because I got 5 good reviews. And BTW, I won't write the next chapter until I get TEN good ones! STOP FLAMING OR I'LL REPORT YOU! Ebony isn't a Mary Sue, OK? She isn't perfect, SHE'S A SATANIST! And she has problems because she's depressed for Gods sake!

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Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish together as we went upstairs. I was wearing red 'Satanist Sings' on my nails in red nail polish (AN: See, does that sound like a Mary Sue to you?) I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous because I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door.

Then we started Frenching passionately and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took off my top. I took off my black leather bra, and he took off his pants. We got on the bed and started making out naked, and then he put his cock in my girl's pussy and we HAD SEX. (See, is that stupid?)

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm, when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing was the word 'Vampire.'

I was so angry.

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDS anyway!"

I huffily put on my clothes and stomped out of the room. Draco ran out too, even though he was naked. He had a really big hard-on, but I was too mad to care. I stomped all the way down to the dungeons, where Vampire and some other people were having a lesson with Professor Snape.

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled at him.

**Zoe's AN: This seems to be a pretty pointless chapter to me, but what do I know? I'm the one posting revisions of this crap. It seems that no one has reviewed to see who my mysterious reviewer is. Oh well, I'll tell you. It is Charlo! Yay Charlo for giving me a review. If you would like to get 2nd place, please submit a review right now. Good bad or indifferent, I really don't care!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me!**

_Everything beyond this point is Tara Gilesbie's words, not mine._

AN: Stop flaming OK? If you don't then you're a prep!

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Everyone in the class stared at me, and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked, and started begging me to take him back.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understandingly. She flipped her long waist-length gothic black hair, and opened her blood-like crimson eyes. (She was wearing contacts.) She had pale white skin and had white makeup on. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires, and one of them is also a witch, but Voldemort killed her mother, and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out her real last name is Smith, and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now, not Gryffindor.)

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demanded angrily in his cold voice, but I ignored him.

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him. **(Zoe's AN: I don't know how to fix that, but technically Vampire wouldn't have cheated on her, Draco would have. Just so you know. She wasn't going out with Vampire or anything.)**

Everyone gasped.

Draco's POV:

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me. I had gone out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony.) for a while, but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

Ebony's POV:

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virginity to Draco and then I burst into tears.

**Zoe's AN: Eighth chapter up! I can't believe I'm even doing this, but after I'm all done with 'My Immortal' then I'll start on my original fan fiction. **


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

_Everything beyond this point is Tara Gilesbie's words, not mine._

AN: Stop flaming, OK? I didn't read all the books! This is from the movie, OK? So it's not my fault if Dumbledore swears! Besides, I SAID HE HAD A HEADACHE! And the reason Snape doesn't like Harry now is because he's a Christian and Vampire is a Satanist! MCR ROX!

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I was so mad! I couldn't believe Draco was cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I had done it with Draco.

Then, all of a sudden, a horrible man with red eyes and no nose came flying towards me on a broomstick! He was wearing all black, but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was Voldemort!

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice.

But then Voldemort shouted "_Imperio_!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a Sadist, so I stopped.

"Ebony!" he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"

I thought about Vampire and his sexy eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and then they broke up?

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No, please," I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou dost not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-you're-so-retarded look on his face. "I have telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you dost not kill Vampire, then thou knoweth what shall happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly, Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi," he said back. But his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a mix between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No," he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you, but I thought you cheated on me," I explained.

"That's okay," he said, all depressed, and we walked back to Hogwarts making out.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me and everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's words, not mine.**

AN: Stop it you gay fags. If you don't like my story then fuck off! PS: It turns out B'loody Mary isn't a muggle after all, and she and Vampire are evil, thats why they moved houses, OK?

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I was really scared about Voldemort all day. I was even upset when I went to rehearse with my gothic metal band, Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between Good Charlotte, Slipknot, and MCR. The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron, although we call him Diablo and he has black hair with blue streaks in it now, and Hagrid. Only today, Draco and Vampire were depressed, so they weren't coming to rehearsal, so we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too, and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that), or a stake. **(Zoe's AN: Stupid, crosses only **_**hurt**_** vampires and you can kill them with sunlight, fire or by beheading them too. Idiot...)** and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like _The Corpse Bride_. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and a tiny matching miniskirt that said 'Simple Plan' on the butt. You might think I'm a slut, but I'm really not. **(Zoe's AN: Um, yeah, you are! You slept with Draco after knowing him for what, two days? That's what sluts do asshole. Oh, I apologize if you have ever slept with someone after the first date, but maybe your case was different. I'm talking about Ebony's.)**

We were singing a cover of 'Helena,' and at the end, I suddenly burst into tears.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerned voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said, "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! **(Zoe's AN: Don't you mean Vampire?)**But I don't want to kill him, because he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears again.

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall. "Why didn't you tell me?" he shouted. "How could you, you-you-you fucking poser muggle bitch! (See is that out of character?) **(Zoe's AN: Yup stupid, the only cuss Draco uses is 'mudblood')**

I started to cry and cry. **(Zoe's AN: You've already been crying stupid!)** Draco started to cry too, all sensitive. Then he ran out.

We practiced for another hour. Then suddenly Dumbledore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery, and I knew this time it wasn't because he had a headache.

"What have you done?" He started to cry wisely. (See, that's basically not swearing, and this time he was really upset so he will cry.) "Ebony, Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."

**Zoe's AN: Um, hello? What was all that shit you wrote about him not being able to die by ****anything except a 'c-r-o-s-s' and a stake? But NOW he's able to kill himself? You are one seriously fucked-up bitch. Okay, I have definitely been having a bad day today, which is the reason for all the annoying interruptions. I apologize if you don't like to read them, but on the bright side, ONLY THREE MORE DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS!! And one left of school where I'm a blecchy junior until Winter Vacay.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Please don't sue, my parents would kill me.**

**Zoe's AN: All boldness is my words, just so you know! This chapter is dedicated to Blind Loyalty, as she/he requested that I continue this. And also, congratulations to Blind Loyalty for getting second, third, and fourth place in the Reviewers of This Story challenge.**

_Everything beyond this point is Tara Gilesbie's words, not mine. _

AN: I said stop flaming you preps! See if this chapter is stupid! It deals with really serious issues! So see for yourself if it's stupid. BTW, thanks to my friend Raven for helping me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrified! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me, but I told her to fuck off ran to my room crying. Dumbledore chased after me shouting, but he had to stop when I went into my room because he would look like a perv if he followed me in.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off **(First time I read that I thought 'You took your wrists off!' No, I get it now. She took her clothes off.) **and jumped into the bath angrily while putting on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a stake and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and sadly put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it. Then I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends **(You mean the heels?) **and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed. Snape was spying on me and he taking a video tape of me! And Lupin was masturbating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks. **(Insert perverted broomstick joke here.) **

"Ew you fucking pervs! Stop looking at me naked! Are you pedos or what?" I screamed, pulling on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. **(First of all, they have Marilyn Manson towels? I must get one. And secondly, you put a towel on over your 'low-cut dress with lace all over it'?) **Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Avada Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Lupin, pointing his wand at them. I took my gun **(Guns are allowed in Hogwarts? Dumbledore must be getting old) **and shot Snape and Lupin a gazillion times. They both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumbledore ran in.

"Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Lupin.

He waved his wand and suddenly Hagrid ran outside with his broom and said "Everyone, we need to talk."

"What do you know, Hagrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"

"I may be a Hogwarts student," Hagrid paused angrily. "But I am also a Satanist!"

"This cannot be," Snape said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumbledore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"You don't have any!" I yelled angrily. **(Don't have any what? Other factors?)**

Lupin held up the camera triumphantly. "The lens may be ruined, but the tape is still there!"

I felt fainter than I normally do, like how it feels when you don't drink enough blood.

"Why are you doing this?" Lupin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his cloak. **(Doing what, exactly?)**

And then I heard words that I had heard before. But not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"Because… because," Hagrid said, as he paused in the air dramatically, waving his wand in the air. Then he swooped down singing a song to the tune of a gothic version of a 50 Cent rap.

"Because you're gothic?" Snape asked, in a scared voice because he was afraid it meant he was connected to Satan.

"Because I love her!"

**Zoe's AN: And here ends the eleventh chapter of **_**My Immortal**_**. R&R please!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Because nothing this awful will ever belong to me. I promise.**

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's words._

AN: Stop flaming, OK? Hagrid is a pedophile too. A lot of people in American schools are like that. **(Excuse me? My American school has no pedophiles in it, thank you very much. That said, we do have our fair share of gang members, thugs, pregnant teenagers, and weirdos.)** I wanted to address the issue! How do you know Snape isn't Christian? Plus Hagrid isn't really in love with Ebony, that was Cedric.

I was about to slit my wrists with the silver knife that Draco had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"No!" someone yelled. I thought it was Hagrid, but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! No, my scar hurts!" And then his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites. **(*cough*oxymoron*cough*)**

I stopped. "How did you know?"

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"No!" I ran closer. "I thought you didn't have the scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do, but Diablo changed it into a pentagram for me, and I always covered it up with foundation." he replied. "Anyway, my scar hurt, and then it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! Then I had a vision of what is happening to Draco! Voldemort has him in bondage!" **(Oh, kinky. Wait… I thought Draco was dead. O.o What else aren't you telling us?)**

I was in the school nurse's office now, recovering from my slit wrists. Snape, Lupin and Hagrid were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered because they were pedophiles, and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot girls. Dumbledore had confiscated the video camera and the video they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Hagrid came to my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

"Ebony, I need to tell you something," he said in a very serious voice, handing me the roses.

"Fuck off," I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." Hagrid had been mean to me for being gothic before.

"No Ebony." Hagrid said. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they goths too, you preppy poser?" I asked. I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

"I saved your life!" he yelled angrily.

"No you didn't," I replied. "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton porn video made from my shower scene and saved Snape and Lupin from getting sued by me.

"Who masturbated (see, is that spelled wrong?) **(Yeah, it was, before I fixed it)** to it," he added.

"Whatever!" I yelled angrily.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered "Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say!"

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know. I was just warming up my vocal cords." Then he screamed "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio imo noto okayo!" (Four all you cool, gothic, MCR fans out there, that is a tribute! Especially for Raven, I love you girl!)

The roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. **(No, really?)** Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

"OK I believe you now. Where the fuck is Draco?"

Hagrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I couldn't see anything.

"You see, Ebony," Dumbledore said, watching the two of us watching the flame, "To see what is in the flames (Haha you reviewers, flames! Get it?) you must find yourself first, OK?"

"I have found myself OK, you mean old man!" Hagrid yelled. Dumbledore looked shocked. I guess he didn't have a headache, or else he would have said something back.

Hagrid stormed off back to his bed. "You are a liar, Professor Dumbledore!"

When I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was a corset on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from _The Ring._ (If you don't know who she is you're a prep, so fuck off!) I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Thanks. You do too." I said sadly. I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists, feeling totally depressed, and I sucked out all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snape and Lupin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in Care of Magical Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared, and he used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

"Hi," he said, sounding depressed. "Hi back," I said in an equally sad way.

We both looked at each other. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Draco's. Then, we jumped on each other and started screwing.

"Stop it now, you horny simpletons!" shouted Professor McGonagall, who was watching us like everybody else.

"Vampire, you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me! You know I love Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! No, my scar hurts!" And then his eyes rolled up. You could only see the red whites. **(And once again *cough*oxymoron*cough*)**

"NO!" I ran closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do, but Diablo changed it into a pentagram for me, and I always covered it up with foundation." he replied. "Anyway, my scar hurt, and then it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! Then I had a vision of what is happening to Draco! Voldemort has him in bondage!" **(Anyone else getting déjà vu here? Or am I the only one?)**

Special thanks to Raven, my gothic blood sister! WTF, you're supposed to write this!

Hey Raven, do you know where my sweater is?

**Zoe's AN: The author's notes are the worst. I don't think this Raven character helps her with those. And wouldn't it be faster to just ask Raven where her sweater is, instead of posting it on an internet story?**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: None of it belongs to me. It's all either J.K. Rowling's or Tara's.**

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's words, not mine._

AN: Raven, thanks for helping me again! I'm sorry I took your poster of Gerard, but that guy is such a fucking sex bomb! Preps stop flaming!

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore! Dumbledore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snots?" he asked angrily.

"Voldemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed evilly.

"No, don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.

"No," he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school, especially with you, Ebony." He frowned at me. "Besides, I never liked him that much anyway."

Then he walked away. Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: Don't you think gay guys are so hot?)

"Its okay!" I told him, but he kept crying. Then he had a brainstorm. "I have an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see," he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Suddenly we were in Voldemort's lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a cruel voice say, "Avada Kedavra!" **(It originally said 'Allah Kedavra'. Could that be considered offensive to Muslims? Using their god's name to kill?)**

It was Voldemort!

**Zoe's AN: Thank the lord. The 13****th**** chapter is over.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's words, not mine._

AN: Fuck off preps, OK? Raven thanks for helping me again. I'm sorry I couldn't update, but I was depressed and I had to go to the hospital because I slit my wrists.

P.S. I'm not updating until you give me ten good reviews!

WARNING: Some of this chapter is extremely scary! Viewer discretion advised.

We ran to where Voldemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead, the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there crying tears of blood. Wormtail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Wormtail.

"Rid my sight, you despicable preps!" he shouted at us as we started shooting him with the gun. Then, he suddenly looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "?" he said. (In this story he is sixteen years old, so he's not a pedophile, OK?)

**AN: Why is it OK for Snape and Lupin, who are GOOD characters, to be pedophiles, but EVIL characters have their ages changed so they're not pedophiles?**

"Huh?" I asked.

"Ebony, I love you! Will you have sex with me?" asked Wormtail.

I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my boyfriend and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard," I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

"No!" he screamed. He started running around. Then he fell down and died. I burst into tears.

**AN: Wait, what? She killed him and then got sad that he died? I'm confused.**

"Wormtail, what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. He started walking towards us! We could hear his high heels clacking. So we got on our broomsticks and flew to Hogwarts, where we went to my room. Vampire left. Then I started crying.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco, taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (Get it? Because he's so sexy) and a really huge you-know-what **(erection)** and everything.

"It's so unfair!" I yelled. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all the other girls and preps here? Except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you want to be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts," answered Draco.

"Yeah, but everyone is in love with me! Snape and Lupin took a video of me naked. Hagrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me, and now even Wormtail is in love with me!

**AN: Correction: Wormtail **_**was **_**in love with you. Before you killed him.**

I just want to be with you, Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?"

**AN: I was under the impression that it was God who made us look the way we do.**

I shouted angrily. (Don't worry, Ebony isn't a snob or anything. A lot of people have told her that she's pretty.)

**AN: Oh good! Heaven forbid that she was a snob!**

"I'm good at too many things! Why can't I just be normal? It's a fucking curse!" I shouted. Then I ran away.

**Zoe's AN: So what do you think of my new AN format? I thought this would make it a little easier to read. Love it? Hate it? Let me know, leave a review. And also, you know how at the top it said "WARNING: Some of this chapter is extremely scary! Viewer discretion advised."? Exactly what part of this was supposed to be scary? Cause I didn't see anything.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: You know the drill.**

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's words edited by me._

AN: Stop flaming, OK? BTW, you suck! From now on every time someone flames me, I'm going to slit my wrists! Thanks to Raven for helping me!

"Ebony! Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please come back!"

But I was too mad.

"Whatever! Now you can go and have sex with Vampire!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and locked my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marilyn Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry. I took a razor and slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to biology class.

**AN: Because apparently, in **_**Magic **_**school, you still have to do biology.**

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said 'Anarchy' on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair up. I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did some advanced biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!

**AN: Is biology actually supposed to be Transfiguration? Since I have no clue, I'm leaving it as biology.**

"Ebony, I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I don't care what those fucking preps and posers think. You're the most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just want to fucking be with you. I fucking love you!" Then he started to sing 'The Chronicles of Life and Death' (we considered it our song now because we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexy, like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson. (AN: Don't you think those guys are so hot? If you don't know who they are then get the fuck out of here!)

"OMFG!" I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us, but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them. "I love you!" I said, and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (I fucking hate that bitch) and Chad Michael Murray in _A Cinderella Story._ Then we went away holding hands.

Lupin shouted at us, but he stopped when he saw that everyone was clapping because we looked so sexy together. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmeade right now. We looked at each other, and then we went together.

**Zoe's AN: And here ends chapter 15. Only 29 more chapters to go. Yay! - That was sarcasm, in case you didn't know.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: No. Just no.**

_Everything from here on is Tara Gilesbie's words._

AN: You know what? Shut up, OK? Prove to me you're not preps! Raven you suck, you fucking bitch! Give me back my fucking sweater; you're supposed to write this! Raven what the fuck, you bitch, you're supposed to do this! BTW, thanks to britney5655 for checking my Japanese.

We happily ran to Hogsmeade. We saw the stage where GC had played. MCR was there playing 'Helena' now. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in the pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection, but it didn't matter because I knew now that we were the only true ones for each other. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched.

**AN: I believe the term is now 'making out'.**

We ran up onstage in front of the band to stage dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was Voldemort and the Death Eaters!

"What the fuck, Draco, I'm not going to a concert with you!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time. Even if it's MCR, and you know how much I like them!"

**AN: Best I can guess is that the scene changed from the MCR concert. Or she's a total tard. I'm going with the second one.**

"What, cause we, you know…" he fidgeted uncomfortably because guys don't like to talk about You-Know-What.

**AN: Actually, I don't. My first guess was sex, but I don't know how much sense that makes. Could it be Voldemort taking over MCR?**

"Yeah, cause we 'you know'!" I yelled in an angry voice.

**AN: Still not sure. Sex?**

"We won't do that again," Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an _escort_."

"OMFG, what the fuck? Are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess you're a prep or a Christian or something now."

"No!" he muttered loudly.

"Are you becoming a prep or not?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony! I'm not! Please come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'The World is Black' by Good Charlotte, to me.

I was flattered because that's not even a single, and he had memorized the lyrics just for me!

"OK then, I guess I will have to," I said. Then we frenched for a while and I went up to my room.

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite girl," she said happily. She speaks Japanese and so do I. That means 'how do you do?' in Japanese.

**AN: I don't actually know what 'hajimemashite' means. Probably not 'how do you do?' though.**

"BTW, Willow, that fucking poser, got expelled. She failed all her classes and she skipped math." (AN: Raven you fucking suck! Fuck you!)

"It serves that fucking bitch right," I laughed angrily.

Well anyway, we were feeling all depressed. We watched some gothic movies like _The Nightmare Before Christmas._ "Maybe Willow will die too," I said.

"Kawai," B'loody Mary shook her head energetically lethargically.

**AN: How exactly does that work?**

"Oh yeah, I have a confession. After she got expelled I murdered her, and then Lupin did it with her because he's a necrophiliac.

"Kawai," I commented happily. We talked to each other in silence for the rest of the movie.

"Oh hey, BTW, I'm going to an MCR concert in Hogsmeade with Draco tonight," I said. "I need to wear, like, the hottest outfit _ever!_"

B'Loody Mary nodded energetically. "OMFG, totally! Let's go shopping!"

"In Hot Topic, right?" I asked, already getting out my special Hot Topic loyalty card.

"No." My head snapped up.

"_What?_" My head spun. I could not believe it. "B'Loody Mary are you a prep?"

"No, no!" she laughed. "I found some cool gothic stores near Hogwarts, that's all."

"Who told you about them?" I asked, sure it would be Draco, Diablo, Vampire, (don't even _say _that name to me!) or me.

**AN: What name? Vampire's? Oh, she must mean Willow/Raven.**

"Dumbledore," she said. "Let me just call our brooms."

"OMFG, _Dumbledore?_" I asked quietly.

"Yeah, I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk," she told me. "Come on, let's go."

We were going in a few punk-goth stores especially for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was hotter than Gerard Way except not, because that's impossible, and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for the real goths."

"The real goths?" B'Loody Mary and I asked.

"Yeah, you wouldn't believe how many posers are in this town, man! Yesterday Lupin and Snape tried to buy a gothic camera pouch." He shook his head. "I didn't even know they had a camera."

"OMFG no! They're going to spy on me again!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out, and very low-cut with a huge slit.

"Oh my Satan, you have to buy that outfit!" the salesperson said.

"Yeah, it looks totally hot," said B'Loody Mary.

"You know what? I am going to give it to you for free, because you look really hot in that outfit. Hey, are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am, actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW, my name's Ebony Dark'ness Dementia _Tara_ Way. What's yours?"

"Tom Riddle," he said and ran a hand through his dyed black hair. "Maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah, I don't think so because I am going there with my boyfriend Draco, you sick perv!" I yelled angrily. Before he could beg me to go out with him, Hagrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG Ebony you need to get back to the castle now!"

**Zoe's AN: I think my brain breaks a little every time I read this.**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Except my cat. You can't have him. He's mine!**

AN: I said stop flaming the story! If you're a prep then don't read it! You can tell whether you're a prep or not my quiz on my homepage. If you're not then you rock. If you are then fuck off! PS, Willow isn't really a prep. Raven, please do this, I promise to give you back your poster!

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes and stuff for free. He said he would help us with makeup if we wanted, because he was really into fashion and stuff. (He's bisexual.) Hagrid kept shouting at us to come back to Hogwarts.

"What the fuck, Hagrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off, you fucking bastard!" Well anyway, Willow came. Hagrid went away angrily.

"Hey bitch, you look kawaii," she said.

"Yeah, but not as kawaii as you," I answered sadly, because Willow's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset with blood red lace on it and a black blood red miniskirt, leather fishnets, and black pointy boots that showed off how pale she was. She had a really nice body with big boobs and everything. She was thin enough to be anorexic.

"So are you going to the concert with Draco?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said happily.

"I'm gong with Diablo," she answered happily. Well anyway, Draco and Diablo came. They were both looking extremely hot and sexy, and you could tell they thought we were too. Diablo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it. He was wearing tons of makeup just like Marilyn Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt, and black Vans he got from the Warped tour. B'loody Mary was going to the concert with Dracula. Dracula used to be called Neville, but it turned out that he was kidnapped at birth, and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Neville converted to Satanism and went goth. He was in Slytherin now. He was wearing a black Warped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes, and black hair with red streaks in it. We call him Dracula now. Well anyway, we all got in Draco's black Mercedes-Bens (get it, because we're gothic) that his dad Lucius gave him. We did pot, coke and crack. Draco and I made out. We made fun of those stupid fucking preps. We soon got there. I gasped.

Gerard was the sexiest guy ever! He looked even sexier then in the pictures. He had long raven black hair and piercing blue eyes. He was really skinny, and he had an amazing, ethnic voice. We moshed to Helena and some other songs. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the other members. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all! It was an ugly, preppy man with no nose and red eyes. Everyone ran away except Draco and me. I was Voldemort and the Death Eaters!

**AN: Yay! More déjà vu!**

"You moronic idiots!" he shouted angrily. "Ebony, I told you to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now I shall kill thou and Draco!"

"No, no please!" we begged sadly, but he took out his knife.

Suddenly, an old gothic man flew in on his broomstick. He had long black hair and a long black beard. He was wearing a black robe that said 'Avril Lavigne' on the back. He shot a spell at Voldemort, and he ran away. It was Dumbledore!

**Zoe's AN: Aah, yes. Another chapter done. Oh look, only 27 more to go.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: You can have the story, just leave the kitty alone! What? Oh, right. This story does not belong to me. All recognizable characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and the plot and all unrecognizable character's belong to Tara Gilesbie. Speaking of,**

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's words._

AN: I said stop flaming! If you do then you're a fucking prep! Thanks to Raven for the help and stuff. You rock! And you're not a prep. Thanks for my sweater! PS, the only reason Dumbledore swore is because he's trying to be gothic. So there!

I woke up the next day in my coffin. I got out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eye shadow, blood red lipstick, and a really low cut black leather dress that was all ripped and slashed so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.

(The night before, Draco and I went back to the skull ***school*.** (get it? Skull? Because I'm gothic and like death?) Dumbledore chased Voldemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the tail was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR broom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what **(sex)** to a Linkin Park song.

Anyway, I went down to the Great Hall. All the walls and tables were painted black, but you could see the pink paint underneath the black. There were postors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.

"What the fuck?" I shouted, going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow. B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Charlotte t-shirt, black fishnets, and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long, gothic black dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to her thighs, and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula, and Draco sat down with us. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in because they were bi.

"Those guys are so fucking hot," Neville was saying, but suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything entered the hall. He was the same one who had chassed away Voldemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin, but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hair black.

"_Dumbledore_?" we all gasped.

"What the fuck?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Voldemort!"

"Hello everyone," he said happily. "As you can see, I gave the room a makeover. What do you think of it?"

Everyone from the poser table in Gryffindor started cheering. We Goths just looked at each other and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!

"BTW, you can call me Albus," he said as we left for our classes.

"What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we went to Transfiguration. We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (get it, _way _like Gerard?) but I didn't say anything.

"I bet he's having a midlife crisis!" shouted Willow.

I was so fucking angry.

**Zoe's AN: No more updates tonight, little children! I am going to a New Year's Eve party with my friends now! Happy New Year everyone!**


	19. Chapter 19: I'm Not Okay I Promise

Chapter 19: I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

**Disclaimer: Nope, still nothing belongs to me, thank God.**

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's words._

AN: Please stop flaming the story. If you do, you're a fucking prep, and you're jealous, OK? From now on I'm going to delete your mean reviews! BTW, Ebony's a pureblood, so there! Thanks to Raven for the help!

All day we sat angrily thinking about Dumbledore. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- the MCR concert. It had been postponed, so we could all go.

Anyway, I sadly went to the common room to cut classes. Draco was being all secretive.

I asked what it was, and he got mad at me, and started crying all hot and angsty. Aren't sensitive bi guys so hot?

"No one fucking understands me!" he shouted angrily, as his black hair fell in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in "Boulevard of Broken Dreams". He was wearing baggy black pants, a black MCR t-shirt, and a black die. (Get it? Instead of tie, because I'm gothic.) I was wearing a low cut, black leather top with chains all over it, a black leather mini, black high heel boots, and a cross belly ring. My hair was up in a messy high bun, just like Amy Lee in "Going Under". (Email me if you want to see the pic.)** (Or if you are a normal person, Google it. Or look up the video on YouTube. Please don't actually email me for it.)**

"Excuse me? What about me?" I growled.

"Bu-but-but-" he grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.

**AN: What exactly does it "fucking look like"?**

But it was too late. I knew what I heard. I ran to the bathroom crying angrily. Draco banged on the door. I wept and wept as my bloody eyeliner streamed down my cheeks, and made cool tears down my face like Benji in the video for "Girls & Boys". (Raven, that is so our video!) I took out a cigarette and started to smoke pot.

Suddenly Hagrid appeared. He had apparated.

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. "What the fuck do you think you're doing in the girls' dorms?"

Only it wasn't just Hagrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it to be maybe Tom Riddle or Draco, but it was Dumbledore.

"Hey I need to ask you a question," he said, pulling out his black wannabe gothic purse. "What are you wearing to the concert?"

"You know who MCR are?" I gasped.

"No, I just saw there was a concert that a lot of goths and punks are going to," he said. "Anyway, Draco has a surprise for you."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Trust me. None of this belongs to me.**

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's story._

AN: I said I don't care what you think! Stop flaming, OK preps? Thanks to Raven for the help. Oh yeah, BTW, I'll be on vacation in Transylvania for the next three days so don't expect any updates.

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I put on a black leather mini, a black corset with purple lace all over it, and gothic black combat boots. MCR was going to do the concert again, since Voldemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed to MCR in my bedroom, feeling excited. Suddenly, someone knocked on the door while I was trying on some black clothes and moshing to 'Fang You for the Venom'.

**AN: I think that might actually be 'Thanks for the Memories' by FOB, but I'm not sure, so I left it as that.**

I got all mad and turned it off, but secretly I hoped that it was Draco so we could do it **(sex) **again.

"What the fucking hell are you doing?" I shouted angrily. It was Lupin! "Are you gonna come rape me or what?" I yelled. I was allowed to say that because Dumbledore had told us all to be careful around him and Snape since they were pedos.

"No, actually, can I please borrow some condoms?" he growled angrily.

"Yeah, so you can fuck your six year old girlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarcastically.

"Fucker," he said, going away.

Well anyway, I put on some black eye shadow, black eyeliner, black lipstick, and white foundation. Then I left my room. I gasped. Snape and Lupin were in the middle of the empty hall, doing it, and Dobby was watching.

"Oh my God, you ludicrous idiot!" they both shouted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. They got up, though. Normally I wood have been turned on (I love seeing guys do it) but both of them were fucking preps. (BTW, Snape is moved to Gryffindor now.) **(Gee, thanks for telling us.)**

"What the fuck? Is that why you wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically. (See, I spelled that right.) **(True, although I believe you meant to say 'sarcastically')**

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lupin shouted angrily.

"Well you should have told me," I replied.

"You dimwit!" Snape began to shout angrily. I took out my black camera, and took a picture of them. You could see that they were naked and everything.

"Well excuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was that all about?"

"It was to blackmail you," I snarled. "So next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend, you can't fucking rat me out or I'll show this to Dumbledork. So fuck off, you bastards!" I started to run. They chased me, but I threw my wand at them and they tripped over it. **(Yeah, that's smart. Throw your wand at someone.)** Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.

"What the fuck? Where's Draco?" I asked.

"Oh, he's being a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't come," Vampire said, shaking his head. "You want to come with me? To the concert?"

Then he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his godfather Sirius Black had given it to him. The front license plate said MCR666 on it. The one on the back said 'EBONY'.

I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. MCR was there, playing.

Vampire and I began to make out, moshing to the music. I gasped, looking at the band.

I almost had an orgasm, Gerard was so fucking hot! He began to sing 'Helena', and his beautiful, sexy voice began to fill the hall. I heard some crying. I turned and saw Draco, crying in a corner.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: Nope. Nothing belongs to me. None of it.**

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's story._

AN: Fuck you, okay! You fucking suck! It's not my fault if it's spelled wrong, okay, it's that bitch Raven's! Fuck you preps! Whoops, sorry Raven, thanks for the help. BTW, Transylvania rocks hard! I even got to go to the castle where Dracula was filmed!

Later we all went back to the school. Draco was crying in the common room. "Draco are you okay?" I asked in a gothic voice.

"No I'm not, u fucking bitch!" he shouted angrily. He started to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry because I was afraid he would commit suicide.

"Its okay Ebony," said Vampire comfortingly. "I'll make him feel better."

"You mean you'll go fuck him, won't you?" I shouted angrily. Then I ran to get Draco. Vampire came too.

"Draco, please come back!" he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pale face. I was so turned on because I love sensitive bi guys. (If you're a homophobe then fuck off!)

And then we heard footsteps! Vampire got out his black invisibility cloak. We both got under it. We saw the janitor Filch there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

"Who's there?" he shouted angrily. We saw Mrs. Norris come. She went under the invisibility cloak and started to meow loudly.

"Is anyone there?" yelled Filch.

"No, fuck you, you preppy little poser. Son of a fucking bitch!" Vampire said under his breath in a disgusted way.

"Excuse me! Excuse me, who said that?" yelled Filch. Then he heard Mrs. Norris meow. "Is there anyone under the cloak, Mrs. Norris?" he asked.

**AN: It's an invisibility cloak. How does he even know it's there? **

Mrs. Norris nodded. Then Vampire frenched me. He did it just as Filch was taking off the cloak.

"What the-" he yelled, but it was too late because now we were running away from him. And then we saw Draco crying and slitting his wrists outside of the school.

"Draco!" I cried. "Are you okay?"

"I guess," Draco whimpered. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (see, isn't that depressing?) together, on the gothic red bed.

**AN: What happened to the coffins?**

As I was about to put in the video, my eyes rolled up and I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knock on the door, and Fudge, the Minister of Magic, walked into the school!

**Zoe's AN: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Break was over. But we have a two hour delayed opening today, so here is your update!**


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Not the characters, recognizable or not, and not the plot.**

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's story._

AN: Shut the fuck up! Preps, stop flaming okay? If you don't like it then fuck off! I know it's Mr. Norris, **(I was under the impression that it was MRS. Norris and Mr. FILCH, not Filth. But hey, maybe it's a typo)** it's Raven's fault, okay? You suck! No, just kidding Raven you fucking rock! Preps suck!

All day everyone talked about the Ministry of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin, so I opened the door. I was wearing black lacey leather pajamas. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me were B'Loody Mary, Vampire, Diablo, Draco, Dracula, and Willow!

I opened my crimson eyes. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she had on a black poufy skirt with lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. **(Of what? The skirt? I'm so confused!)** Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and black jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just like Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poufy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said 'bitch' and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it, kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Jenny) **(Who is Jenny? Does she mean Ginny?)** was there too. She was wearing a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top and black pointy boots. So were Crabbe and Goyle. **(So, they're gender bending? Not that I have anything against cross-dressing, I just never had Crabbe and Goyle pegged as the type for it.) **It turns out that Darkness, Diablo, Crabbe and Goyle's dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became gothic and converted to Satanism.

"OMFG!" I yelled as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are you all here?"

"Ebony, something is really fucked up," Draco said.

"Okay, but I need to put my fucking clothes on first!" I shouted angrily.

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. You're so fucking beautiful," Draco said in a sexy voice.

"Oh all right," I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all secretive."

"I will, I will," he said.

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick, red eye shadow, and white foundation. Then I left. We all went outside the Great Hall and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Gryffindor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledore. Cornelius Fudge was there, shouting at Dumbledore. Dolores Umbridge was there too.

"This cannot be!" he shouted angrily. "The school must be closed! The Dark Lord is planning to kill the students!"

"You are not fit to be the Headmaster any longer!" yelled Umbridge. "You are too old and your Alzheimer's is dangerous! You must retire or Voldemort will kill your students!"

"Very well," Dumbledore said angrily. "But we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort, and she is in the school. And her name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way!

Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other. I gasped.

**AN: Yes, yes, yes! Finally halfway done! Oh thank God, only 22 more chapters to go!**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me.**

_Everything from this point on is Tara Gilesbie's story_

AN: Shut the fuck up, bitches! You're just jealous because I got 10,000 reviews! Thanks to Raven for the help and telling me about the books. Girl you rock, let's go shopping together!

The door opened, and Professor Umbridge and Cornelius Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledore and Umbridge saw us.

"Miss Way, what the beep are you doing?" Umbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore glared at her.

"Oops, she made a mistake!" he corrected her. "She means 'Hi, everybody, come in!'"

Well, we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco, and opposite B'loody Mary. Crabbe and Goyle started to make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. I ate some Count Chocula and drank some blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shouting angrily. I looked behind me. It was Vampire. He and Draco were shouting at each other.

"Vampire, Draco, what the fuck?" I asked.

"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire. "I want to sit next to her!"

"No, I do!" Vampire shouted.

"No, she doesn't fucking like you, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco.

"No, fuck you motherfucker, she loves me not you!" shouted Vampire. And then, he jumped on Draco. (No, not in that way, you perv.) They started to fight and beat each other up.

Dumbledore yelled at them, but they didn't stop. All of a sudden a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew through shattered. Britney, that fucking prep, started to cry. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting, I stopped eating, and everyone gasped. The room fell silent, it was Voldemort!

"Ebony, Ebony," Voldemort said evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou have failed your mission. Now I shall kill thou, and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then, I shall kill Draco too!" **(But she won't be able to kill him, because she'll be dead. And then he'll be dead too. Is Voldemort, like, on drugs or something? Or is Tara Gilesbie really that stupid?)**

"Please don't make me kill him, please!" I begged. **(And obviously Raven is just as stupid as Voldemort.) **

"No!" he laughed cruelly. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling.

I burst into tears. Draco and Vampire came to comfort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision where I saw some lighting flash and then Voldemort coming to kill Draco while he slit his wrists in a depressed way.

"No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

"Ebony! Ebony are you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice.

"Yeah. Yeah," I said sadly as I got up.

"Everything's all right Ebony," said Vampire all sensitive.

"No, it's not!" I shouted angrily. Tears of blood streamed down my face. "OMFG, what if I'm getting possessed like in _The Ring 2_?"

"It's okay, girl," said B'loody Mary. "Maybe you should ask Professor Sinistra **(Sinistra is the Astronomy professor. She would actually ask Trelawney) **what the visions mean, though."

"Okay, bitch," I said sadly, as we went to find Professor Sinistra.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling and everything unrecognizable belongs to Tara Gilesbie.**

AN: Preps stop flaming the story. You're just jealous, so fuck you, okay? Go to hell! Raven, thanks for the help.

Well we had Divination next, so I got to ask Professor Trelawney about the visions.

"Konnichiwa everybody, come in," said Professor Trelawney in Japanese. She smiled at me with her gothic black lips. She's the coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long, dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (Her mom was a vampire. She's also half Japanese, so she speaks it and everything. She and B'Loody Mary get along great). She's really young for a teacher. Today she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long, gothic, ripped black dress. We went inside the black classroom that had posters of Emily the Strong. I raised my hand. I was wearing some black nail polish with red pentagram designs.

"What is it Ebony?" she asked. "Hey, I love your nail polish. Where'd you get it, Hot Topic?"

"Yeah," I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. "Well, I have to talk to you about some things. When do you want to do it?" **(Lol)**

"How about now?" she asked.

"OK," I said.

"OK, class is fucking dismissed everyone," Professor Trelawney said, and she let everyone go. "Except for you, Britney," she pointed at Britney and some other preps. "Please do exorcize (get it?) 1 on page 3."

"OK, I'm having lots of visions," I said in a worried voice. "I'm so Draco is going to die."

She gave me a black crystal ball to look in. I looked at it.

"What do you see?" she asked.

I said "I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, **(that's bone or tooth, according to my dictionary. So, he's wearing a black tooth? Made of leather? Not sure how that works, but okay)** a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and black Converse shoes.

"Okay, you can go now, see ya cunt," said Professor Trelawney.

"Bye bitch," I said waving.

I walked over to Draco. Vampire was standing next to him. We both followed Draco. I was so excited.

**AN: Why? Why is she so excited? Are they going to have a threesome together? Oh God, bad mental image. I feel sick. Read and review please!**


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: Do any of you actually think that any of this is mine?**

AN: Stop flaming okay! If you don't then I'll tell Justin to beat you up! And I'll tell all the nerds to put viruses in your computers! Fuck you! Raven, thanks for the help.

I was so excited. I followed Draco, wondering if we were going to _do it_ again. We went outside, and then we got in Draco's black car.

"Ebony, what the fuck did Professor Trelawney say?" whispered Draco, putting his gothic white hand with black painted nails on mine.

"She said she would tell me what the visions meant tomorrow," I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to smoke. He flew the car to the top of a tree, and then put on some MCR.

_"And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me."_ sang Gerard's sexy voice. We started pulling of each other's clothes fervently. He took off my black thong and my black leather bra. I took of his black boxers. Then he sexily put his throbbing _you-know-what_ in my tool. **(Okay, I know what 'you-know-what' is, but why is she calling her private area a 'tool'?)**

"OMFG, Draco, Draco!" I screamed having an orgasm. We started frenching passionately. Suddenly I fell asleep. **(That's gotta kill the mood.) **I started having a dream. In it, a black guy was shooting two gothic men with long black hair.

"No! Please don't fucking kill us!" they pleaded, but he just kept shooting them. Then he drove away in a red car.

"No! Oh my fucking God!" I shouted in a scared voice.

"Ebony what's wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up, opening my icy blue eyes.

I started to cry and tears of blood streamed down my face. I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his black Linkin Park mobile. But the worst thing was who the people who were shot in the dream were. Lucius and Sirius!

**AN: Lucius doesn't have black hair. Nor is he gothic. And Sirius is way too immature to be gothic. I think being in Azkaban since he was 22 stunted his mental growth.**


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: Nothing but fan fiction, and not even my original fan fiction at that.**

AN: Preps stop flaming the story, OK? If you don't like the story then go fuck yourself you fucking prep! You suck! Oh, and I wasn't being racist, OK? **(She does have a point. Pointing out that someone is black isn't racist. That's like saying "Yeah, my best friend is Middle-Eastern." Is that racist?)**

A few mutates later Vampire got to the tree. He was wearing a black leather jacket, black leather pants, and a Good Charlotte t-shirt.

"Hi Vampire," I said flirtatiously as I started to sob. Draco hugged me sexily, trying to comfort me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.

"Oh fuck it!" Vampire shouted angrily. He started to cry sadly. "What fucking dick did that?"

"I don't know," I said. "Now come on, we have to tell Dumbledore."

We ran out of the tree and into the castle. Dumbledore was sitting in his office.

"Sir, our dads have been shot!" (**No, **_**Draco's**_** dad has been shot; unless Ebony's name is actually Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way**_** Black**_**, or Sirius and Lily were doing something behind dear old James' back) **Draco said while we wiped some tears from his white face. "Ebony had a dream vision."

Dumbledore started to chuckle. "Hahahaha! And how due you expect me to believe that Ebony is a Seer?

I glared at Dumbledore.

"Look motherfucker," he said angrily as Dumbledore gasped (see, is that true of the character?). "You know very well that I'm a Seer. Now get some fucking people out there to look for Sirius and Lucius pronto!"

"Okay," he said in a intimidated voice. "Where are they?"

I thought about it. Then all of a sudden I remembered. "London," I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few minutes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire and I all went to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurse's office, while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room. We looked at each other's gothic, depressed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Sirius and Lucius came in on stretchers, and Professor Trelawney was behind them!

**AN: Oh yeah. Done with another chapter.**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Vampires Will Never Hurt You

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any character from the series, or any character from this atrocious story.**

AN: You know what? I don't give a fuck what you preps think of me. So stop flaming the story, bitches! Thanks to Raven for the love, support, and help, I love you girl! Sorry I couldn't update, I was really depressed and I slit my wrists and had to got to the hospital. Raven, you rock!

Everyone in the room started to cry happily. I had saved them. Draco, Lucius, Sirius, and Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

"Come on Ebony," said Professor Trelawney. She was wearing a gothic black leather dress with a corset top and real vampire blood on it and fucking black platinum boots. "I have to tell you the fucking prediction."

I looked at Lucius, Sirius, Draco, and Vampire. They nodded.

I smiled happily and went into a dark room. Professor Trelawney took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said "Tara, I see dark times are here." **(And here I was thinking that Ebony **_**wasn't **_**a self-insert character.)** She peered into the balls. **(Heh, balls. Oh, I'm so immature.)** "You see, you must go back in time." She took out a Time-Turner like B'loody Mary had. "When Voldemort was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he got his heart broken. Now, do you think he would still become Voldemort if he was in love?" I shook my head. "You must go back in time and seduce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil, then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it."

"Okay," I said sadly. We did death touch sin. I went outside again sadly.

"What fucking happened?" asked Draco and Vampire.

"Yeah, what happened?" asked Darkness, Willow and B'loody Mary?

I was about to tell them, but everyone was there. They were celebrating Lucius and Sirius being found. Everyone was proud of me, but I just wanted to talk to Draco. They were chanting my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumbledore. A banner was put up. Lots of fucking preps were there, obviously trying to be gothic, wearing the HIM sign on their hands, despite never actually having heard of him. Even Filch looked happy. A black and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyle set up some fireworks in the shape of skulls from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

I put on my Invisibility cloak with Vampire and Draco, and we snuck outside together.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: Just another fan fic that I don't own.**

AN: I said stop flaming the story. It was a mistake when Professor Trelawney said that, OK? **(Said what? I never pay attention) **Go to fucking hell! You suck! Thanks to Lily for the help! Raven, have fun with Kiwi. **(Oh God, that's an image I didn't need.)**

We went into a black room. The walls were black with portraits of goth bands like MCR and Marilyn Manson. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red velvet lined the black box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skulls in them. I was wearing a black corset top with purple lace on it, fishnet stockings, and a black leather thong **(that's gotta be uncomfortable) **underneath.

I sat down one of the chairs in despair. So did Draco and Vampire.

"Are you okay?" Vampire asked, putting his alabaster hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing black nail polish with red crosses in the middle.

"Yeah, I guess," I said sadly. Draco also sexily put his hand on mine. I smiled sadly, with my black painted mouth. "The problem is, I have to seduce Voldemort. I'll have to go back in time."

Draco sadly started to cry. Vampire hugged him.

"It's okay, Ebony," he said finally. "But what about me? You're not gonna break up with me or anything, are you?"

"Of course not!" I gasped.

"Really?" he asked.

"Sure," I said.

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly.

Then I seductively took of Draco's MCR shirt and black pants. He was hung like a stallion. **(*snort*) **He had replaced the 'Vampire' tattoo with an 'Ebony' tattoo. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He looked exactly like Gerard Way. Vampire got a video camera and started filming. (I had said it was okay before). **(When did you say it was OK? I must have missed it in all the confusion. Or you are a fucktard and didn't put it!)**

I took of my clothes, and then we were in for the ride of our life.  
We started freching as we climbed into the coffin. He put his cock in my you-know-what **(just say 'pussy'! Or something other than 'you-know-what' because that just reminds me of Voldemort, and no one wants to be reminded of Voldemort during a sex scene, no matter how awful) **and we passionately did it.

"I love you, Ebony! Oh, let me feel you, I need to feel you!" he screamed as we got an orgasm together. We watched Vampire filming everything perfectly.

Suddenly, we heard someone yell "What the _fuck_ are you doing?" It was Snape and McGonagall.

**AN: And yet another chapter done! On a totally unrelated side note, I just ran 4 miles in 30 minutes! Which for me, at my 10 minute mile is quite an achievement. According to my little calorie burner thing, I burned 157 calories. I'm trying to lose 5 lbs. So far I've lost 0.7 in a little over two weeks. Yup.**


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine, thank the Gods.**

**AN: This chapter is dedicated to Lovegrimeyxx for being the first to favorite this story. Thanks Lovegrimeyxx!**

AN: Shut the fuck up! You're just jealous because you're preps so fuck you! Raven, you rock girl, thanks for the help! MCR rocks 666!

"Oh my Satan!" we screamed as we jumped out of the coffin. Snape and Professor McGonagall started to shoot at us angrily.

"Come now!" Professor McGonagall yelled. We did, guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Snape grabbed the camera and put it in his pocket.

"Hey, what the fuck!" Vampire shouted angrily.

"Yeah, Buster, **(Buster? Really? My God…)** what the fuck are you going to do with the fucking camera?" Draco demanded, all protective, looking at me longingly with his gothic red eyes. "Look, Dumbledore knows your little secret, and if you do this again, then you will go to St Mungos. **(I believe she meant Azkaban, but I'm not certain, so I left it as St. Mungos).** So give back the camera!"

"Ha, the Minister of Magic thinks he is crazy, there is no way they will believe him," Snape laughed meanly.

"Yes, so shut your mouths, you insolent fools!" yelled Professor McGonagall. She made us go into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these weird tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (get it, because he's a sex bomb, lol. Tom Felton rules for life, but not as much as Gerard. You're sex on legs, you fucking rock! Marry me!) **(For some odd reason, I doubt that Gerard Way is reading this.)**

I started to cry tears of blood. (It happens in vampire novels, Raven said so okay, so fuck you!) Vampire took out a black handkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.

And then he and Snape both took out guns using magic. They started to shoot each other angrily. None of the ballots had hit either of them yet. I took out my wand.

"Crucio!" I shouted. Snape stated to scream and he dropped the gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of bullets. **(What? Why is that a 'too late', then? Now Vampire doesn't die!)** I stopped the curse. Professor McGonagall did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Then she said "Okay, Severus, I'm going to go now." She left. Snape started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.

"It's okay Ebony," said Draco. "Everything will be all right. Remember the video you took of Snape?" **(Um… no? When was this?)**

Snape laughed again. And then he took out some whips!

**AN: Another chapter of torture done at last!**


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or this story. **

AN: Stop flaming the story, okay? You don't know what's even going to happen! So fucl you! If you flame you will be a prep so all flamers can kiss my ass! Sorry for saying Alzheimer's is dangerous, but that's the Ministry's opinion because society basically sucks. Thanks to Raven, you rock, bitch!

"No!" we screamed sadly. Snape stated laughing meanly. He evilly took out a camera. Then he walked towards Draco. He took some stones out of his pocket. He laid the stones around Draco and lit a candle.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I shouted angrily. Snape laughed meanly and pulled down his pants. I gasped; there was a Dark Mark on his you-know-what! **(Oh, eww! Yeah, thanks, I really needed that mental image!)**

He waved his wand and a knife appeared. He gave the knife to me.

"You must stab Vampire," he said to me. "If you don't, then I'll rape Draco."

"No, you fucking bastard!" I yelled.

But then Draco looked at me sadly with his gothic red eyes that looked so depressed and sexy. He looked exactly like a cross between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire, and he looked so sexy too, with his gothic black hair. I thought of the time when we screwed, and the time I did it with Draco and Dumbledore came, and the time when Draco almost committed suicide and Vampire was so supportive.

Snape laughed angrily. He started to pray to Voldemort. He started to do an interpretive dance around the stones while whipping Draco and Vampire. Suddenly I had an idea. I closed my eyes, and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathic message to Draco and Vampire so that they would destroy Snape.

"Dumbledore will get you!" Draco shouted.

"Yeah, just wait until the Ministry finds out!" Vampire yelled. Meanwhile, I took out my wand.

"You ridiculous dunderhead!" Snape yelled. He took off all of Draco's clothes.

Just as he was about to rape him I pointed my wand at him and shouted "Crucio!" Snape screamed and ran around the room. Meanwhile, I grabbed my black mobile phone and sent a text to Sirius. I stopped the Cruciatus curse.

"You dunderhead! I'm going to kill –" shouted Snape, but suddenly Sirius came in.

Snape put the whip behind his back. "Oh, hello Siri, I was just teaching them something," he lied. But suddenly Lucius and Professor Trelawney came into the room, and they and Sirius unlocked the chains and wrapped them around Snape. The Professor Trelawney said "Come on, Ebony, let's go."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringements intended, I am neither J.K. Rowling nor Tara Gilesbie.**

AN: I said shut the fuck up, queers! Stop calling Ebony a Mary Sue, okay, you don't even know what's going to happen okay, so fuck you! Thanks to my BFF Raven for the help!

"I always knew you were on Voldemort's side, you son of a bitch!" (Buffy rocks!) **(Um… okay? Not sure what that has to do with the story…) **Sirius said to Snape.

"No, I'm not, I was teaching them something!" Snape claimed.

"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some black Veritaserum out of my pocket and gave it to Sirius. He made Snape drink it. He did so angrily. Then Lucius took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snape. Then Professor Trelawney and Lucius made us get out with them while Snape told his secrets. Lucius took Vampire and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a million times. Professor Trelawney took me to a dark room. I was going to go back in time to seduce Voldemort. Wizard posters of MCR and Nirvana were all over. Hermione, Darkness, and Willow came too. B'loody Mary gave me a black bag from Tom Riddle's store.

"What's in the bag?" I asked Professor Trelawney.

"You'll see," she said. I opened the bag. In it was a tight, sexy, gothic, low cut black leather dress. It had red corset lace, and there was a slit up the back. I put it on. My friends helped me put on black fishnets, and black pointy boots that Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blood red lipstick.

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch," B'loody Mary said.

"Thanks," I said.

"Okay, now you're going to go back in time," said Professor Trelawney. "You will have to do it in a few sessions." She gave me a black gun. I put it in a strap on my fishnets, like in Resident Evil. Then she gave me a black time turner. "After an hour, use the time turner to come back here," Professor Trelawney said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a pensieve in front of me. Everyone gathered around it.

"Good luck!" everyone shouted. Darkness and Willow gave me Death's touch sin. **(WTF? And also, why do they need a pensieve to go back in time?) **Then I sexily jumped into the pensieve.

Suddenly I was in front of the school. In front of me was one of the sexiest goth guys I had ever seen. He had long black hair, kind of like Mikey Way, only black. He had green eyes, like Billie Joe Armstrong, and pale white skin. He was wearing a ripped up black suit with Vans. It was Tom Riddle!

**AN: So yeah, another chapter done! Please review people, no one has been doing so, even the people who begged me to continue the story! Well, maybe 'beg' is the wrong word, more like 'requested' and I said 'sure'. But still! Review, people! Even if it's to tell me you hate it and think I should die. Well, maybe not that. But you know what I mean! (I hope…)**


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: Contrary to not-so-popular belief, I own neither Harry Potter nor this story. In fact, I never will.**

AN: I said stop flaming! I know his name isn't Tom Bombildini, **(Yes, she seriously said that in the last chapter before I changed it) **that was a mistake! If you don't like the story then you can go screw yourself! You suck!

"Hi," I said flirtatiously. "I'm Ebony Way, the new student." I shook his pale hand with my black nail polish covered one.

"The name's Tom," he said. "But you can call me Satan. That's my middle name." **(It is not! His middle name is Marvolo! And even if it wasn't, 'Satan' is just a **_**bit**_** pretentious, don't you think?)**

We shook hands. **(Yes… I believe that we already covered this.)** "Well, come on, we have to go upstairs," Satan said. I followed him. "Hey Satan? Do you happen to be a fan of Green Day?" (Since MCR and Evanescence don't exist yet)**(Yeah… I don't think that Green Day existed in the 40/50s either)** I asked.

"Oh my fucking God, how did you know?" Satan gasped. "Actually, I like GC a lot too."(Get it, because GC did that song 'I Just Wanna Live' that sounded really 80s.) **(Slight problem. They're in the 1940s (or 50s, don't wanna check) and that's before the 80s. Is she really that brain dead?)**

"OMG, me too!" I replied happily.

"Guess what? They're having a concert in Hogsment," Satan whispered.

"Hogsment?" I asked.

"Yeah, that's what they call it in this time before it becomes Hogsmeade in 2000," he told me all secretively. "And there's a really cool shop called Hot –"

"Topic!" I finished, happy again.

He frowned, confused. "No, it's called Hot Ishoo," He smiled secretively again. "In 1998 they change it to Hot Topic!" he moaned. **(But, how does he know the future? Why is it all so confusing?)**

"Oh." Now everything was making sense to me. "So, is Dumbledore your principle?" **(coughHeadmastercough, and even that is wrong. Dippet was the Headmaster, Dumbledore was only the Transfiguration professor)** I shouted. **(Why, oh why would you feel the need to shout it?)**

"Uh-huh," he looked at his black nails. "I'm in Slytherin."

"OMFG, me too!" I shouted.

"You go to this school?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's why I'm here, I'm new." I smiled happily.

Suddenly, Dumbledore flew in on his broomstick and started shouting at us angrily. " No talking in the halls!" He had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo from American Eagle Outfitters. "Stupid goths!"

Satan rolled his eyes. "He's so mean to us goths and punks just because we're in Slytherin and we're not preps."

I turned around angrily. "Actually, I think maybe it's because you're the Dark Lord." **(Well, she would obviously make an awful spy.)**

"What the fuck?" he asked angrily.

"Oh, nothing," I said sweetly.

Then suddenly, the floor opened. "OMFG, No!" I screamed as I fell into it. Everyone looked at me weirdly.

"Hey, where are you going?" Satan asked me as I fell.

I got out of the hole and I was back in the pensieve in Professor Trelawney's classroom. Dumbledore was there. "Dumbledore, I think I just met you," I said.

"Oh, yeah, I remember that," he said, trying to be all gothic.

Trelawney came in. "Hey, this is my classroom. Wait, what the fuck? Ebony what are you doing?"

"Um…" I looked at her.

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that."

"What the hell? How?" I screamed, forgetting she was a teacher for a second. But she's a goth, so it's okay.

Professor Trelawney looked sad. "Um, I was drinking veritaserum," She started to cry black tears of depression. **(Um… what's the difference between 'black tears of depression' and the Ebola carrying tears of blood?)** Dumbledore didn't know what they were.

"Hey, are you crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, touching a tear. **(Taking a cue from BlindLoyalty here, "OMFG, NO! Don't touch the blood! Ebola! EBOLA!" *proceeds to run around crazily trying to find a Hazmat suit so that Dumbledore is not contaminated by the blood tears*)**

"Fuck off!" we both said, and Dumbledore took his hand away. **(Oh, thank God. Now go decontaminate or something!)**

Professor Trelawney sat in her chair and started crying again, sobbing limpid tears. "OMFG, Ebony… I think I'm addicted to veritaserum." **(Um… is that even possible?)**

AN: See, you fucking preps? **(See what? Is it this roaring game of chess I'm hearing so much about lately?) **Go fuck yourselves! These are serious issues, so go to hell!

**Zoe's AN: But I don't see any serious issues here. Other than the fact that a teacher is apparently addicted to veritaserum. I thought it was supposed to be rare for God's sake! You shouldn't be able to find enough of it to become addicted to it! God, Tara is incredibly stupid.**


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: *sniffs* Yes, unfortunately, I do... *lawyer whispers something* You're serious? You mean I don't own this piece of crap? Oh thank you! As you can see, I do not own either this story or any creation of J.K. Rowlings.**

**Zoe's AN: This chapter is dedicated to Silvermoon-into-the-mist and Blind Loyalty. Thanks for the reviews, guys!**

AN: I said shut up! It's not my fault, okay? If you don't like the story then you're a prep, so fuck you flamers!

P.S. I'm not updating until you give me five good reviews and this time I mean it! Thanks for the help Raven, I promise to help you with your story, lol!

"Oh my fucking God!" I shouted sadly. "Should we go to St. Mungo's, bitch?" **(I dunno about you, but if I talked to my teachers like that I would get in a shitload of trouble.)**

"Hell no!" she said. "Listen, Ebony, I need your help. Next time you go back in time, do you think you could ask Tom Riddle **(this time it said Andorsen. Why can't she get his name right?)** for some help?"

"Sure," I said sadly. I left the room. Draco was there! He was wearing a big, black, GC t-shirt, which was his panamas. **(No pants? Can't really see that being acceptable in Hogwarts.)**

"Hey, sexy," I said.

"How'd it go Ebony?" he asked. His voice was so sexy and low, kind of like Gerard Way.

"Fine," I responded. We started to walk back to the dorm.

"How far did you go with Satan?" Draco asked jealously.

"Not to far, lol," I barked. **(Not only is she a vampire/fairy/unicorn/witch/elf hybrid or whatever, but now she's part dog, as well. Christ.)**

"Will you have to do it with him?" Draco asked anxiously. **(Do what? I was going to assume they were going to have that elusive roaring game of chess, but my sources tell me that there is also the possibility of taco making!)**

"I hope not too far!" I shouted angrily. Then I felt bad for shouting at him. I said sorry, and we frenched.

"What happened to Snape?" I growled. **(More dog like behavior! But at least no Ebola so far. Or EOE. If you don't know what that is, check out Blind Loyalty's review for chapter 32.)**

"You'll see," Draco giggled mysteriously. He opened a door, and Snape and Lupin were in the room! Sirius was poking and stabbing them with a black knife.

"No, please!" Lupin begged as Sirius started to suck his blood. **(Assuming that Sirius is a vampire, from the 'suck his blood' comment, and that Lupin is still a werewolf, how does this work? I was under the impression that vampires and werewolves are natural enemies, and that werewolves blood is disgusting/fatal to any vampire who drinks it.) **I laughed sadistically and took some photos of them being tortured. (Okay, I know this is mean, but think about it, people. They are pedos and Snape tried to rape Draco. Anyway, sadists rock, has anyone seen _Shark Attack 3_, lol?) We took some of Snape's blood, and then Draco and I went back to our rooms. We sat in my black, gothic coffin. My clothes were kind of dirty, so I put on a black leather outfit, kind of like the one Selene wears in _Underworld._ (If you haven't heard of it, then fuck you!) I put on some black, platform high heels. Draco put on 'Demolition Lovers' by MCR. **(That's actually an okay song up until about 2 minutes in, when the screaming starts.) **Then we started to take off each others' clothes. **(After you just put new clothes on? How stupid!)** I took off his shirt. He had a six pack. We started to make out, like in _The Grudge._ He sexily put his wetness in my you-know-what. I got an orgasm.

"Oh, Draco! Oh my fucking God, Draco!" I screamed passively as he got an erection. **(You mean he wasn't even hard when he stuck it in, and you got an orgasm from that?)**

"I love you, Ebony," he sexily whispered as we fell asleep.

**Zoe's AN: I can't even say anything. I'm so disgusted.**


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: I'm running out of witty things to say, so you'll all have to live with 'This isn't mine. It belongs to J.K. Rowling and Tara Gilesbie.'**

AN: Shut the fuck up preps! Have you even read the story? You're all probably just preps and posers so fuck you! Thanks to Raven for the help!

The next day I woke up in the coffin. Draco was gone. I got up and put on a tight, sexy, black dress that had a ripped hem. There was red corset lace going up the front and back, and it went down to my knees. There was a slit in the dress like in _Mr. & Mrs. Smith_. I put on ripped black fishnets and black stiletto boots. Suddenly, Sirius knocked on the door. I opened it.

"Hi Ebony," he said. "Guess what, you have to come to Professor Trelawney's office."

"Okay," I said in a depressed voice. I had wanted to fuck Draco or maybe listen to MCR or Evanescence, but I went anyway. **(How can she fuck Draco if he isn't there? Does she have a life sized blow up doll? O.o I wouldn't put it past her.)**

"So, what the fuck happened to Snape and Lupin?" I asked Sirius flirtatiously. **(And about two seconds after claiming you wanted to sleep with your boyfriend, you're flirting with someone else.)**

"I fucking tortured them," he answered in a sadistic way. "They're in Azkaban now." **(But you're not, even though you tortured them?)**

I laughed evilly.

"Where are Draco and Vampire?" I muttered.

"They are excused from school today," Sirius moaned sexily. "Right now they are watching _The Nightmare Before Christmas_." **(They got excused from school for that? No, that's just not floating my boat. It makes no sense, kind of like this whole freaking story!)**

We walked into the office. Professor Trelawney was there. **(Well, yeah, seeing as how it's her office.) **She was wearing a black, gothic dress that was ripped all over.

She was drinking veritaserum. **(Need I say anything?)**

She took the pensieve and the time turner.

"Ebony, you will have to do another session now. Also, I need you to get me the cure for being addicted," she said sadly. "Good luck. Thanks!"

Then, I jumped into the pensieve again. Suddenly I looked around, I was in the Great Hall eating Count Chocula. It was morning. I was sitting next to Satan. At the head table was a tall, gothic man, with long black hair, pale skin, and blue eyes wearing a suit and black Converse shoes. He looked just like Marilyn Manson. I noticed that he was drinking a potion. **(Or it could just be orange juice. Or coffee. You know, something that you drink at breakfast. Yes, I am choosing to ignore the blatant disregard fro canon with regards to Professor Slughorn. Because, as you will soon see, that is indeed Professor Slughorn.)**

"Who's he?" I asked.

"Oh, that's Professor Slughorn," Satan said. "He's the potions teacher. Ebony?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Did you know that Marilyn Manson is playing in Hogsment tonight? And they are showing _The Exorcist_ at the movies before that."

"Yeah?"

"Well, do you want to go to the movie and concert with me?"

**Zoe's AN: So, yeah. There's chapter 34. Only 10 more chapters to go! Oh, and I was thinking, and you know how Ebony always calls Snape and Lupin pedophiles? Well, they totally aren't, because one, they're fucking each other, and they're both over age, and two, even if they were attracted to Ebony, it wouldn't be illegal, because she's 17, and that's the Wizarding age of consent. So there, Mary-Sue!**


	35. Chapter 35: Ghost of You

Chapter 35: Ghost of You

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

**Zoe's AN: Thanks to Silvermoon-into-the-mist for letting me know that pensive is not spelled 'pensieve' as I've been spelling it. Because I'm too lazy to go back to all the other chapters and fix the misspellings, you'll all just have to deal with it. But rest assured, there will be no more misspellings of the word pensive!**

AN: Thanks to Suzi for the idea, you rock! Fuck off preps! Thanks to Raven for the help, you rock girl!

P.S. I'm going to end the story really soon, so fuck you! Oh yeah, and if you know any gothic names please tell me, because I need them for Sirius. **(She's either going to try to change his name, or he's going to have little gothic babies, probably with Lucius, if Tara has her way.)** Thanks!

I went into the Common Room thinking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped, Draco was there!

I gasped. **(Again? Don't you think that's a little excessive?)** He looked as hot as ever, wearing black leather pants, a black Linkin Park t-shirt, and black eyeliner. **(Hmm… I'm sensing a color theme here…)**

"Draco, what the fuck are you doing?" I gasped.

"Huh?" he asked. Then I remembered it wasn't Draco, it was Lucius! **(*cough*Wasn't born until 1954 and Voldmort's last year of school was 1953*cough* Yes, the spaces ruin it, but I thought it was easier to read this way.) **He still had two arms. **(Wait, when did he lose his arms?)**

"Oh, hi Lucius," I said. "I'm Ebony, the student, lol." We shook hands.

"Yeah, Satan told me about you," Lucius said. He pointed to a group of sexy, gothic guys. They were sitting in a corner cutting. **(Uh…)** It was Sirius, Vampire's dad, and Snape! **(Two people isn't a group, Sirius isn't Harry, oh, excuse me, **_**Vampire's **_**dad, Snape, Sirius, Lucius, and Voldmort never hung out together, and the only person who went to school in 1953 was Tom Riddle!) **Both of them were wearing black eyelinder and black Good Charlotte band shirts. "Listen, I'm in a goth band with those guys," he said. "We're playing tonight at the Marilyn Manson show as back-up."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "We're called XBlakXTearX. I play the guitar. Sirius plays the drums," he said pointing to him. "Snape plays the bass, and James plays the guitar too, even though we call him Samaro, after Samara in _The Ring._" **(There are so many things wrong with this picture.)**

"Hey, bastards," I said to them. They gave me the Death Touch Sin. Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't you have a lead singer?" I asked. Lucius looked down sadly.

"We used to, but she died. She committed suicide by slitting her wrists.

"Oh my fucking God! That's so fucking sad!" I whispered. **(Exclamation points, but she's whispering? Maybe she's whisper shouting?)**

"Its okay, but we need a new lead singer," Samaro said.

"Well, I'm in a band myself," I said.

"Really?" asked Snape. I couldn't believe it! He used to be gothic!

"Yeah, we're called Bloody Gothik Rose 666. Do you want to hear me sing?"

"Yeah," said everyone. So the guys took out their guitars. They began to play a song by Green Day.

"I walk this empty street, on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams," I sang sexily (I don't own the lyrics to that song). Everyone gasped.

"Ebony? Will you join the band? Please?" begged Lucius, Samaro, Sirius, and Snape.

"Um, okay," I shrugged. "Are we going to play tonight?"

"Yeah," they said.

"Okay," I said, but I knew I had to get a new outfit. I walked outside, wondering how I could go forward in time. **(Turn the time turner the other direction.)** Suddenly someone jumped in front of me. It was Marty McFly! **(As in **_**Back to the Future**_**?)** He was wearing a black band t-shirt and baggy black jeans.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked.

"I will help you go forward in time, Ebony," he said seriously. Then he took out a black time machine. **(Well, I guess a time machine works just as well as a time turner. A bit bulky, though…)** I walked into it, and suddenly I was back in the future!

**Zoe's AN: Back in the future? Does that sentence not make sense to anyone else? I'm confused and have homework. On the bright side, here in northern Virginia we've had a humongous snow storm and there's no school tomorrow! Hurray!**


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: Do we really have to do this? I am not J. K. Rowling **_**or**_** Tara Gilesbie, as such, I own nothing in this story other than my own author's comments. And if you steal those, there will be a lawsuit coming your way! (Probably not, I'm too lazy.)**

AN: I said stop flaming, okay? I bet you are probably all 70 years old!

P.S.: Porter says you're a prep! **(Who the F is Porter?) **Oh, yeah, and thanks to Raven for the help! Have fun in England, girl!

I looked around in a depressed way. Suddenly, I saw Professor Trelawney. B'Loody Mary, Sirius, Draco, Vampire, and Willow were there too.

"OMFG, Sirius, I saw you and Samaro and Snape and everyone! I can't believe Snape used to be gothic!"

"Yeah, I know," Sirius said sadly.

"Oh, hey there bitch," Professor Trelawney said in an emo voice, drinking some Veritaserum.

Hi fucker," I said. **(Why is she getting away with talking to her teachers like this?) **"Listen, Satan asked me out to a gothic concert and a movie, so I need a sexy new outfit Also, I'm playing in a gothic band, so I'll need a new outfit for that.

"Oh my Satan!" gasped B'Loody Mary. "Want to go to Hot Topic to shop for your outfit?"

"OMFS, **(that's 'Oh my fucking Satan' for those who didn't know) **let's have a group cutting session!" cried Professor Trelawney. **(coughAttentionwhorescough. Also, .)**

"I can't fucking wait for that, but we need to get some stuff first," said Willow.

"Yeah, we need some potions for Professor Trelawney so she won't be addicted to Veritaserum anymore, and w also need… some love potion for Ebony," Draco said despondently.

"Well, we have potions class now," Willow said. "So let's go."

We sexily walked to Potions class. But Snape wasn't there. Instead there was Cornelius Fudge! **(You wanna know what his last name was before I changed it? It was Fuck. For cereal.)**

"Hey, where the fuck is Dumbledore?" Draco shouted angrily. **(Um… why would Dumbledore be in a Potions class? And why would Cornelius "Fuck" Fudge, the freaking Minister of Magic, be subbing for Snape?)**

"Shut the fuck up!" shouted Cornelius "Fuck" Fudge. "He is in Azkaban now, with Snape and Lupin. He is old and weak and he has cancer. Now do your work!"

My friends and I talked angrily.

"Can you _believe_ Snape used to be gothic?" Vampire asked, surprised.

"That's it!" Cornelius "Fuck" **(although this time it was spelled 'Fuk') **Fudge angrily said. "I'm getting Professor Umbridge!"

He stomped out angrily.

My friends and I began talking again. I drank some blood mixed with beer. Suddenly, I saw Hagrid in the cupboard.

"What the fuck is he doing?" I asked. Then I looked at Draco. He was wearing eyeliner tons of eyeliner and he looked sexier than ever. Suddenly Draco shouted "Hagrid, what the fuck are you doing?"

I looked around, Hagrid was putting something in my glass of blood. Draco and Vampire started to sexily beat him up. **(You mean they sexually assaulted him? Cause that's the only way I can think of to beat someone up sexily.)**

"God, **(Don't they mean 'Satan'? I mean, really. They say they're Satanists, but here they are saying the Lord's name. They need to make up their minds)** you are such a poser!" I shouted at Hagrid. I looked at what he was putting in the blood. It was Amnesia potion!

**Zoe's AN: Because instead of using the Obliviate spell, he decided to use a made of potion. Maybe he was gonna date rape her? Or something? I dunno. Weird chapter. Please R&R people! We're getting a blizzard here, so there might not be school tomorrow, in which case expect more updates!**


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: Nope… still not mine.**

AN: OK everybody, I'm going on vacation on the first week of July, so I'm either gonna end the fic or update it next week. Thanks! Oh yeah, and preps stop flaming the story! Raven, thanks for the help. See ya after vacation, girl!

**Draco's POV**

Vampire and I chained Hagrid to the floor. **(Where did the chains come from? Hmm?)**

"Oh my fucking Satan!" Ebony said. She was so hot. "Maybe I could use Amnesia Potion to make Satan fall in love with me faster!"

"But you're so sexy and wonderful anyway, Tara," **(Um… you mean Ebony, don't you?) **said Vampire. "Why would you need it?"

"To make everything go faster," Ebony said, laughing.

"But you won't have to do it **(Do what? I'm still not sure whether it's the Roaring Game of Chess or the Making of the Tacos. Or possibly it's the Roaring Game of Chess While Making Tacos)** with him or anything, will you?" I asked.

"OMFG, you guys are so scary," said Britney, a Fucking Prep. **(I've decided to go a little J. K. here and capitalize these things. Plus, every time Tara mentions Britney, she always follows it u with 'a fucking prep'. So it made sense.)**

"Shut the fuck up!" said Willow.

"Ok, well anyway let's go to Professor Trelawney's room.

**Vampire's POV (She forgot to put it in, so I did it.)**

Draco, Ebony, and I went to Professor Trelawney's room. But Professor Trelawney wasn't there. Instead, Tom Rid was.

"Oh, hi fuckers," he said. "Listen, I got some cool new clothes for you."

**Ebony's POV (She forgot to put this in also.)**

I took out the clothes from the bag. It was a black, gothic, leather miniskirt that said '666' on the back, black stiletto boots, blood red fishnets, and a black corset.

"OMG, thanks!" I said, hugging him gothically. I put the clothes back in the bag.

"OK, Professor Trelawney isn't here, what the fuck should we do?" asked Draco. Suddenly he looked at a sign on the black wall.

"Oh my fucking Satan!" I screamed as I read it.

It said "Everyone, Professor Trelawney is away. She is too gothic, and she is in Azkaban now. Classes will be taught my Professor Dumbledore, who is back. However, he won't be Headmaster for now. Sincerely, Professor Umbridge."

"OMFG!" I shouted angrily. "How could they do that!"

Suddenly Dumbledore came in.

"What the hell are you doing in my office?" he shouted angrly. Suddenly I saw Marty McFly's black time machine. I seductively jumped into it, leaving Vampire and Draco behind. I was back in time. I looked around, and saw that I was in Professor Slughorn's office! I sneaked around and saw the Amnesia Potion on his desk. It was black with blood red pentagrams in it. It was in the shape of a cross. I put it in my pocket. Suddenly the door opened, revealing Professor Slughorn!

"OMG, what are you doing, fucker?" he shouted angrily.

"I don't know, what the fuck are you doing?" I shouted angrily.

Slughorn didn't say anything.

"Oh, sorry, I was just looking around because I thought it was class," I said finally, hoping he couldn't see the potion in your pocket.

"Oh, OK, you can go now," said Professor Slughorn.

I went to the common room after putting on my clothes. Sirius, Samaro, and Snape were there practicing 'Vampire's Will Never Hurt You' by MCR.

"Oh, hi you guys," I said seductively. "Where's Satan?"

"Oh, he's coming," said Sirius. "BTW, you can call me Hades now." Suddenly Satan appeared. He was wearing a sexy black leather jacket, black Converse shoes, a Slipknot **(that band wasn't formed until 1995! So it's not possible!)** t-shirt, and a black tie.

"OK, I will see you guys at the concert," I said, before leaving with Satan.

**Zoe's AN: And yes, another chapter done. We're nearing the end here, thank God. Only 7 more chapters, and one of those is a Hacker chapter, so I won't be editing it (much.)**


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.**

AN: What does everyone think if I end the story and then add some more to it after vacation? Oh yeah, and preps stop flaming! If you don't like the story then take my quiz, okay? Then you will see if you're gothic or not! **(Wait… what? According to your logic, if they don't like the story then they're a prep, so why would they need to go take a quiz to see if they're 'gothic' or not?)**

Satan and I walked to his car. It was black, with pentagrams painted all over it. The license plate said '666' just like Draco's car. I seductively got in. Satan started driving, and we talked about Satanism, cutting, music, and being gothic. **(What stimulating conversation… not! Not that I'm really one to talk, because I almost never have meaningful conversations. Except for that one time I was stoned…)**

"Oh my Satan, Gerard is so fucking hot!" Satan said as we smoked sum weed. Bi guys are so sensitive. I love them. Go fuck a gay guy. **(But they don't like us. We don't have penises.)**

"Lol, I totally decided to not commit suicide when I hear 'Helena,'" I said in a flirty voice. "Hey Satan? Do you know how to cure people addicted to Veritaserum?"

"Well…" he thought. "I think you have to drink vampire blood."

Suddenly, Satan parked the car behind a black movie theater. We got out of the car and walked inside. Satan bought us tickets to _The Exorcist._ In it, a boy and a girl were doing it. **(Why would you play chess OR make tacos when you're in a horror movie!?!)** Suddenly, a serial killer killed them. **(As serial killers are wont to do.)** Satan and I laughed because we're sadists. **(By the way, is this actually what happens in **_**The Exorcist**_**? I never saw the movie.)**

While Satan was watching the movie, I had an idea. I sexily took Satan's black, gothic, _Nightmare Before Christmas_ cigar from his pocket, put some Amnesia potion on it, and put it back in his pocket. Satan turned around and started to smoke it. Black clouds of smoke with red pentagrams in them floated around his head.

"OMG!" Satan yelled, jumping up. I gasped because I was afraid he had noticed. "Ebony, guess what?"

I knew that the Amnesia potion had worked. **(What? How? All he said was 'Guess what'!)**

"Amnesia potion has not been invented yet so it will not work." **(Then how did you know what it was? And why wouldn't it work? If we took guns back to Ancient Egypt they'd still kill people!)** "Too bad, because I wanted to use some on you."

"Cool," I said, raising my eyebrow suggestively. **(Why is what is basically date rape cool people? Why?)** And then he sexily took off my clothes and we started to make out. I took off his shirt. He had six pack just like Gerard Way! We made out some more.

"Excuse me, but you are going to have to leave," said the lady behind us. She was a prep.

"Fuck you!" I shouted. I attacked her and sucked out all her blood.

"No!" she screamed. All the preps in the theater screamed, but everyone else clapped because Satan and I looked so cute together. We left the move theater.

"Zomg, how did you do that?" Satan asked in a turned-on voice.

"I'm a vampire," I said as we got in the car.

"Seriously?" he gasped.

"Yeah, seriously," I said, drinking some beer. Satan started driving. I smiled happily.

"It's too bad we didn't get to see the rest of the movie, don't you think?"

"Yeah," I said as we kissed passively. **(Ooh, Satan not a good kisser?)** Satan parked in a black driveway next to the place where Draco and I had watched GC for the first time. We walked inside where Marilyn Manson was playing, and we started to mosh.

"Anti-people, now you've gone to far, Jesus Christ superstar!" screamed Marilyn on the stage. **(Don't know if those are the right lyrics, don't really give a crap either.)** We did the devil fingers. I started to dance really close to Satan. He was so sexy! He looked at me all emo. With his gothic red eyes he looked exactly like Mikey Way. I almost got an orgasm! **(Okay then… that's not weird at all…) **Suddenly Marilyn Manson stopped singing.

"I would like to present… XBlakXTearX!" he shouted. I ran onstage. Lucius, Samaro, Snape, and Hades were there. They started to play their instruments.

"Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say!" I sang. (I don't own the lyrics to that song) My voice sounded like a cross between Amy Lee and a girl version of Gerard Way. Everyone clapped, and Satan got an erection. "I'm not okay!" I sang finally. Suddenly Lucius started playing the song wrong by mistake.

"OMFG!" yelled James. **(You mean 'Samaro?')**"What the fuck?"

"Woops, I'm sorry," said Lucius, fixing it.

"You fucking asshole!" James **(Samaro?)** shouted angrily.

"You guys are such preps," Snape said. "Come on, it was a mistake."

"Yeah it's not his fault!" said Sirius. **(But I thought your stupid name for him was Hades!)**

"No, he ruined the fucking song!" yelled Samaro. **(And we're back to the stupid names. And actually, the one who ruined the song was 'Samaro' with all his shouting in the middle of it. Just saying…)**

"You guys, stop!" I shouted angrily. But it was too late. They all began to fight. Suddenly, Samaro took out his knife.

"OMFG no!" shouted Lucius as James **(Stick to one set of names please, this is driving me insane!)** tried to shoot off his arm. **(Wait… since when can knifes shoot things?)**

And then I jumped sexily in front of the bullet. **(Especially bullets?)**

"No!" yelled everyone. But it was too late, and everything went black.

**Zoe's AN: Hey guys, I'm so sorry for not updating in forever, but I am now! And since the next chapter is the hacker chapter, I'm putting it up with absolutely no corrections from me. On a completely unrelated side note, I accidentally set all my email from this site go to my spam box. Does anyone know how to unspammify it? I have a Yahoo email, if that helps. Please help me!**


	39. Chapter 39: Hacker Chapter

**Zoe's AN: Hey guys, here's Chapter 39, the hacker chapter! Because this was not written by Tara Gilesbie, I have not edited it. Not one little bit. Not even for spelling. Well okay, maybe a little for spelling. But if you see any mistakes, they are hers (or his… or both) and not mine. Thanks, and enjoy the… show?**

Chapter 39 I Am A Trolling Genius, lolz

Disclaimer: I do not own the HP series and I am not the real XXXbloodyrists666XXX.

AN// I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh.

And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."

I, the American retail wearing British vampire Sue, coughed up blood.

Satan kneeled down beside me.

"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"

I gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fulfill my duty as the noble gothic Mary Sue."

Satan sobbed. "I love you Ebony."

"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.

B'loody Mary Smith suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. She frowned when she realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Ebony's lifeless body, she screamed. Her face became pale with horror. She screamed for the healers, Dumbledore, Mcgoogle, and every single gothic person she could think of.

Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Ebony. Everyone stared in shock. Her body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.

When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Sue became nothing more then a pile of ashes.

A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!" filled the room.

A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.

All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN//I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.

When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the sue is dead...' Well, that is, until all the HP characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.

All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Harry and Voldemort started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the Light Side and the Dark Side were reaching a climax.

And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Draco and Hermione fled the scene and got married.

--------

Meanwhile...

Down in hell, Ebony shed a single tear because of her current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.

She lost it all, but she knew she had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break her down.

She looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' She asked herself in confusion.

And then it occurred to her...

For her shirt, she was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And then Ebony realized, on her shoulder, she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.

Ebony suppressed the urge to scream. Here she was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.

Panicked, Ebony hastily tried to take off the Hollister polo, but underneath it, there was another Hollister polo underneath. Ebony frowned, and looked under her shirt. All she saw was a bra underneath (dare I point out it's from the Aerie line available at American Eagle?). Ebony tried to remove the shirt again. But to her frustration, there was yet again another polo to replace it.

"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Ebony bellowed out to the air. She failed to see the irony in her statement, how hypocritical her words were, seeing as she was practically calling the kettle black here.

Ebony slit her writs and mumbled to herself, "Omigod."

/End Crap Fic.

Sincerely,

An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Identity-Because-She's-A-Coward :P

A.K.A. Just a troll with rocks for brains.


	40. Chapter 40: Lol! Someone Has Taken Over

**Disclaimer: Nope, it's still not mine.**

**Zoe's AN: Because I will be leaving tomorrow for Spring Break and I won't be allowed to use the computer except for homework and my iPhone doesn't have Microsoft, here is Chapter 40!**

Chapter 40: Lol! Someone Has Taken My Account Over!

The Idiot's Note: Well... this was in the doc area... might as well let the whole world see what the real Tara wanted to show us... Have a nice day!

AN: Shut the fuck up preps, get a life! You suck! And from now on I'll be on vacation in England until August or so, so I won't be able to update for a while. Thanks to everyone who reviewed except the preps who flamed! (Fuck you!) MCR rules!

I woke up in the Nurse's office in a special gothic coffin. Hagrid was in the bed opposite me in a coma because Vampire and Draco had beat him up. Filch was cleaning the room.

"Oh my Satan, what happened?" I screamed. Suddenly Voldemort came in. He looked less mean than usual.

"Get the fuck out, you fucking bastard!" I yelled.

"Thou hath not killed Vampire yet!" he said angrily. Suddenly he started to cry tears of blood all seductively. **(Oh dear God, first of all, NOT THE TEARS OF BLOOD AGAIN! EBOLA! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! And second of all, there is something seriously wrong with Ebony if she thinks that Voldemort is even the slightest bit seductive.)**

"Voldemort? OMFG, what's wrong?" I asked.

Suddenly, Lucius, Professor Trelawney, and Sirius came in, and B'Loody Mary and Vampire were with them. Everyone was holding black boxes. Voldemort disappeared. **(Going to put on my Hermione cap and say "Haven't you ever read **_**Hogwarts: A History**_**? Everyone knows that you can't apparate on school grounds. Honestly!)**

"OMFG, Ebony you're alive!" screamed Vampire. I hugged him and B'Loody Mary.

"What the fuck happened?" I asked them. "Oh my Satan! Am I, like, dead now?" I gasped. **(Yes sweetheart. You know you're dead when you sit up in the Hospital wing and your friend screams "OMFG, you're alive!")**

"Ebony, you were almost shot," said Sirius. "But the bullet couldn't kill you since you were from a different time." **(I'm sorry, where in the universe does that make sense? How would being shot in a different time make you a freaking Superman?)**

"But thanks anyway," said Lucius, holding out his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!

"OMG, I can't believe Vampire's dad shot you!" I gasped.

"Well to be honest, Samaro was possessed by Snape back then," said Lucius.

"Yeah, he was a spy." Sirius said sadly. "He was really a Death Eater."

"And he was a fucking poser, too," said Lucius. "He didn't even really know who Good Charlotte was until I told him." Everyone started to give me presents. **(For what? I would say 'get well soon' presents, but it was made pretty clear that she was in absolutely no danger, so why the hell would they give her presents?)** I was opening a black box with wrapping paper that had '666' all over it in red, there was a DVD of _The Corpse Bride_ in it, when I gasped. Filch looked up angrily because he hated goths.

"Hey, has anyone fucking seen Draco?" I asked gothically.

"No, but he told me that he would be watching _House of Wax_." said Professor Trelawney. "He doesn't know that you're better. Anyway, the nurse said that you could get up. Come on!"

I got up suicidally. **(How does one accomplish that? I really must know.) **Lucius, Sirius, and Professor Trelawney left. I was wearing a black leather nightgown. Under that I had on a sexy black leather bra trimmed with black lace, and a matching thong that said 'Gothic Girl' on the butt, and sexy fishnets that hooked on to my thong (if you idea don't get the image, message me and I'll explain it.) **(No, I most certainly will not! Don't even think of messaging me!)** I put on a black fishnet top under a black MCR t-shirt, a black leather mini with black lace, and Converse. I left the hospital wing with B'Loody Mary, Willow, and Vampire.

"OMFG, lets celebrate!" gasped Willow.

"We can go watch _House of Wax_ with Draco!" giggled Vampire.

"Let's go listen to Good Charlotte and cut ourselves," said B'Loody Mary. We sexily opened the common room door. I gasped. Draco was in there doing it with Snape! **(He was making tacos and playing chess with Snape? I really don't see what's so gasp worthy about that.) **He was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on the front and baggy black jeans. **(I'm sorry? We all know that 'it' is really sex, as much as we make fun of it, and since 'it' is sex, then why the hell is Draco wearing clothes!!!)**

"You fucking prep!" we all yelled angrily.

"Yeah, you betrayed us!" shouted Vampire as he pulled out his black gun.

"No, you don't understand!" screamed Draco sadly as he took his thing out of Snape. **(He took his chess piece out of Snape? Why was the chess piece in there in the first place?)**

"No shit! You fucking suck, you preppy bastard!" said Willow, trying too attack him. (You rock girl!) I suicidally ran to my room and sexily pulled out a stake. **(If you were a vampire would you have a wooden stake in your bedroom? What's that? No? Are you hearing all this Ebony? Learn to be a better vampire!)**

"Ebony! No!" screamed Draco, but it was too late. I had slit my wrists, when suddenly everything went black again. **(That's what's known as blacking out. And why did you slit your wrists with the stake instead of stabbing yourself? That's normally how it's done.)**

Idiot's Note: Ugh... I know... terrible... but then again, this wouldn't be called the 'worst fanfic ever if not for the fact that the writing standards meets the level of a day old fetus...

**Zoe's AN: So, chapter 40. After this only four more. I'll try to post at least one next week, maybe all of them. I am **_**very **_**eager to be done with this story once and for all. So R&R, tell me what you think. And if you haven't already, go read my original oneshot, **_**Ron and Condoms**_**. According to other people, it's pretty funny.**


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

**Disclaimer: Nothing mentioned here belongs to me. I promise.**

**AN: So I figured 'Hey, it's been a while since I last posted a chapter, you lovely people need some more torture in your life!' And yeah, so, here's Chapter 41.**

AN: To everyone who keeps flaming this: Get a life! I bet you probably don't know who Gerard Way is. You're probably all preps and posers! Anyway, someone hacked into my account in November and they put up the last chapter, but now there is a new one. I'm sorry for not updating for a while but I've been really busy. I'm trying to finish the story before the new movie comes out. I'm also going on vacation for a month, and I won't be back for about two weeks. **(…Wait a minute… 2 weeks isn't a month) **OMFG, Draco is so hot in all the pics for the new movie! I wanted them to have a cameo by Gerard Way. He used to play Draco. **(What world was this in?)** If you flame I'll slit my wrists! **(Please do)** Raven you rock girl, have fun in England!

XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When I woke up I was in a strange room. I looked around and realized I was wearing the same outfit as I was when I performed with XBlakXTearX! I looked around, confused. It was the Hospital Wing, but it looked different. On the wall was a poster of Marilyn Manson! (Just imagine that he is a goth 80s band too, ok, because he is older than Panic! At the Disco or MCR.) **(But Voldemort went to school in the 40s/50s, and the Marauders/Lucius/Snape went to school in the 70s. No one important went to school in the 80s, so just stop being stupid!)** There was also a gothic, black Beatles calendar with a picture of The Beatles wearing eyeliner and black gloves. **(No! The Beatles aren't goth! You can't do this to them!)** The calendar said 1980.

"Oh my God! I'm back in time again!" I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan walked in. He was wearing a black leather jacket, tight black jeans, and fishnet pants. He looked so sexy I almost had an orgasm!

"Oh my God Ebony, are you okay?" he asked gothically.

"Yeah I'm okay for your information," I snapped sexily. "OMG am I dead?" I remembered I had jumped in front of the bullet from Samaro's gun. I also remembered seeing Draco doing it with Snape!

I guess that when I slit my wrists I went back in time instead of dying. **(It doesn't work like that…)** I know I could go forward in time if I found a time turner or the time machine.

"No, you're not dead," Satan reassured me, very suicidal as he as he smoked a cigarette sexily and smoke wafted all over his face. "You're a vampire so you can't die from a bullet. Come on, let's go see how Vampire's dad is doing. **(…Why does he know about Vampire? And why is he allowed to smoke on school property?)**

I know that the real reason I didn't die from the bullet was because I'm from the future. "What the fuck? Samaro almost shot Lucius!" I knew that Samaro had really been possessed, but I didn't want Satan to know I knew.

"Yeah I know, but he had a headache. He was under a lot of stress," Satan reasoned.

"I guess that's ok," I said, **(O.O Shooting someone because you don't feel good is most certainly not okay!) **because Samaro hadn't really shot Lucius. Also, I knew that Lucius would now have two arms instead of one. I walked outside seductively with Satan. Then I saw a totally effin' hot bi guy! **(How does she know he's bi just by looking at him?)** He had bleached blond hair with black streaks, and he was wearing black, gothic eyeliner, a black Green Day shirt (Billy Joel had blonde hair because this was the 80s), black coverse, and baggy black pants. He walked in all sexy like Gerard Way in the video for "I Don't Love You Like I Did Yesterday" and you could see a black tear on his face like the woman in the video. **(Um… I know blood tears are Ebola… but what are black tears?)** "Hey," He said all quiet and seductive.

"Who the fuck is that?" I asked angrily, because I didn't know him. **(If she's a bitch to everyone she doesn't know, how the hell does she have any friends?)**

"This is Hedwig," **(I won't even try to find anything to say to this) **said Satan. "He used to be in XBlackXTearX but he had to drop out because he broke his arm."

"Hey Hedwig." I said it seductively even though I wasn't trying to.

"Lol, hi Ebony," he answered, but then he ran away because he had Care of Magical Creatures. He was humming "Welcome to the Black Parade" under his breath. (I know that's not 80s, but pretend it is, ok?) **(No, it isn't 80s. It isn't 40s/50s/70s either, which are any of the multitude of slightly more right timeframes for you to have put this!)**

"Bye," I said sexily.

"That was Hedwig. He used to be my boyfriend, but we broke up," Satan said sadly, looking at his nails.

"OMG, I can get you back together!" I said fingering something in my pocket.

"Ok, you can forget about class for now Hedwig. **(Whoa, he's still there? I thought he left to go to class!) **I'm going to show you something great." I lead them to the Great Hall.

Lucius, Samaro, Sirius, and Snape were all in the Great Hall. Lucius wouldn't talk to Samaro because he had tried to shoot him.  
"Go fuck yourself, you fucking douche!" he shouted at him. "Draco is never going to be friends with Vampire now!" **(…How…?)**

"Yeah go fuck yourself Samaro!" said Snape, but I know he was lying because it had been his fault Samaro had shot Lucius.

"Be quiet you guys," I said sexily. My plan was working out great. Now I could make Satan good without doing it with him, and Vampire's dad would never die! "Ok Satan and Hedwig, you guys can start making out," I said and I started to film them with my video iPod.

"Cool," said Sirius as Satan and Hedwig started to sexily make out. We watched as they took each other's clothes off. Samaro, Sirius, Snape, Lucius watched because they were probably bi. I know Snape was bi.

"Oh my fucking God! Satan! Satan!" screamed Hedwig as his cock touched Satan's.

But suddenly everyone stopped as the door opened and in came Dumbledore and Filch!

**Zoe's AN: Oh good God, this story makes me tired. And I should probably go to bed now because I have Great Big Tests From Outer Space That Will Eat You If You Fail tomorrow morning at 8. So ta!**


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42: The Black Parade

**Disclaimer: Nope. None of it.**

**Zoe's AN: You guys, I am soo sorry I haven't updated at all! I meant to finish the story over the summer, and then I had crew, and band camp, and more band camp, and shopping, and breaking up with my boyfriend, and friends, and pizza, and staying out all night, and school dances, and getting a new boyfriend who I like much better. ;) But I'm back now, and I'll hopefully finish this story before 2011, if anyone still cares.**

AN: OMG, the new book is coming out really soon! I can't wait! I think that Snape will really be the same person as Voldemort because they are both half-blood so that will explain why he killed Dumbledore and hated Harry. **(No he killed Dumbledore because Draco couldn't do it and he had an Unbreakable Vow. And he hates Harry because his dad was a total dick to him. Duh!) **And then Harry will have to commit suicide so Voldemort will die because he will really be a horcrux. **(Whoa. She's actually right.) **OMG, I hope Draco and Harry get together. That will be so sexy, won't it? **(Ehh. Actually, yeah that would be extremely sexy. If someone other than you wrote it.)** If they don't then JKR is homophobic! **(O. what! Just because every character she makes isn't gay doesn't mean she's homophobic!)** Thanks for help with facts, Medusa you rock! **(Who's Medusa?)**

I was depressed as I sat in Dumbledore's office with Hedwig, Satan, James, Sirious, Snape and Lucius. Dumbledore was sitting in front of us looking cruel. He looked younger than he did in the future. **(Gee, I wonder why)** He had taken the iPod away and was listening to a shitty Avril Lavigne song.

"What the hell is this anyway?" he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn't find out that I was from another time.

"Whatever you do don't blame Ebony, you jerk!" Satan said.

"Yeah, seriously, she was trying to get Satan and Hedwig back together," Sirius said defiantly.

"Be quiet you Satanists," Dumbledore cackled. "If you're lucky I'll probably send you all to Azkaban! That will teach you to copulate in the Great Hall." He changed the song on the iPod to an N'Sync song. Suddenly I noticed something strange about the iPod. It was slowly changing! Dumbledore didn't notice.

"You fucking poser," I muttered.

"I bet you've never heard of GC," James said. Now I knew what the iPod was changing into; Marty McFly's time machine!

"Shut up James!" Draco's dad shouted.

"Yeah, shut up!" Snape said preppily.

"No, you shut up, Dumbledore!" yelled Satan.

"I've had enough of you Satanists in my school!" shouted Dumbledore furiously.

Suddenly, I grabbed the iPod from him. "Everyone jump in before it's too late!" I jumped into it, but only one other person jumped in. It was Satan.

"You dunderheads!" screamed Dumbledore wisely as we went.

I looked around. I was in the Slytherin common room with Satan. I was wearing a black plaid miniskirt, hot pink fishnet tights, a sexy, black MCR corset, and black stiletto boots with pink pentagrams on them. My earrings were black pentagrams, and my raven hair was down to my mid-back.

"Hey cool, where is this?" he asked in an emo voice.

"This is the future. My iPod that Dumbledore took from me was really a time machine," I told him.

"Cool. What's an iPod?" he whimpered.

"It's something you use to listen to music," I said.

"Oh, cool! Wait, what's a four letter word for dirt?" he asked in his sexy voice.

"Um, I guess sand?" I confusedly said.

"Yeah, I was just trying to make sure you were still the same person," he triumphantly giggled.

Suddenly some of my friends walked in.

"OMG you're fucking alive!" said Ginny. She was wearing a black leather jacket, baggy black pants, and a gothic, black, From First to Last shirt. I explained to her how I was alive.

"Konichiwa, bitch," said Willow. She was wearing a black and red striped corset with lace all around it that showed off her boobs. With it she was wearing a black leather miniskirt, big black boots, white foundation, black eyeliner, red eye shadow, and black lipstick.

"Hey, motherfucker," said the red headed Diablo. He was wearing a black P!ATD t-shirt and baggy black pants.

"Hey, who's that, Ebony?" B'Loody Mary questioned as she walked in wearing a black t-shirt with a red pentagram on it with lace at the bottom, red leather pants with black lace, and black stilettos.

"Oh, it's Satan," I told her and she nodded, knowing the truth.

Suddenly Satan started to cry.

"Are you okay Satan?" we asked concernedly.

"Oh my God, you're from the future! What if you don't like me anymore cause we're from different times?" he asked.

"No, I still like you," I sexily told him.

"Ok," he said, reassured. I let him listen to "Teenagers" by MCR on my iPod while I was outside looking for some things. I gave Diablo a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep and I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside when Professor Trelawney ran in! She was wearing a gothic black mini dress with black stripes, white and black striped tights, and red converse. She was wearing a lot of black eyeliner.

"Oh my God, where's Draco? How did Snape get back here? I thought he was in Azkaban!" I said.

"Ebony, I was so worried about you even though I know you can't die because you're a vampire. Snape came back because that Britney girl freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student." Trelawney said reassuringly.

"That bitch! Did she also free Hagrid and Lupin?" I shouted angrily. I hated Britney because she was a fucking prep.

"Yes, they are loose in the school. Dumbledore is back, and Cornelius is on his way to help everyone. Tell everyone to lock themselves in their Common Room!" Trelawney said worriedly.

"Okay. But where's Draco? And why was he doing it with Snape?"

"I dunno, but I know he tried to slit his wrists after he saw you try to commit suicide."

"OMG that's terrible!" I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so he couldn't tell what was going on. Then I said "Listen everyone, I have something very important to do. Stay here!" With that, I ran out.

"Good luck Tara!" everyone cried.

I sexily ran down the stairs to the Great Hall. The portraits all looked at me, scared. There was hardly anyone else on the stairs and there was an atmosphere of horror. On the stairs I saw Britney laughing. She was wearing a slutty pink shirt with flowers on it, a blue jean skirt, and Abercrombie & Fitch stilettos. She looked just like a clone of those fucking preps Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan.

"You fucking bitch!" I shouted angrily. **(Whoa. Getting a little bitchy there? Yelling at someone because they're standing on the stairs and look like people you don't like? Bitch.)**

"No, you're totally a bitch. Now Voldemort will, like, totally kill you!" she laughed.

"Crucius!" I shouted, pointing my black wand at her. I laughed sadistically as she screamed because she was being tortured.

"No! Help me, please!" she screamed, terrified.

I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw the video camera Snape and Lupin had used to take a video of me. I put the tape of Voldemort doing it with Hedwig onto it. Then I continued down the stairs with the camera. When I reached the Great Hall I saw Vampire Potter. "OMG, Vampire!" I yelled.

We hugged each other happily. He looked at me with his gothic red eyes and spiky black hair. Around his eyes he had black eyeliner and eye shadow. He was wearing a black leather jacket, leather pants, a Panic! at the Disco concert shirt, and his black converse shoes. He looked more like Joel from Good Charlotte than ever. (Did you hear their song _The River_? **(I have no clue if that's what it's actually called and I don't care.) **It rocks!)"I was so worried you had died!" moaned Vampire.

"I know but I'm a vampire. When I woke up I was back in 1980, so anyway I brought Voldemort from when he was younger with me." I laughed, then turning serious I asked "Where's Draco?"

"Draco? You mean that fucking poser who betrayed you?" Vampire snarled with anger in his sexy voice.

"I know, but we have to find him!" I said smartly.

"I'll do it then," Harry said angrily. **(Vampire?)**

"Okay," I agreed. Suddenly, all the lights in the room went out. And then, the Dark Mark appeared!

"Oh my fucking Satan!" Harry shouted. **(For the love of God woman, you chose to call him Vampire in the beginning now stick to it. Idiot.)**

"I think Voldemort has arrived," I said anxiously. **(No, really?)** "Fuck, I have to find Draco! I guess we should separate."

"Okay," Vampire **(thank you) **said, disapparating. I ran sadly into the Great Hall.

**Zoe's AN: Wait, I thought she was already in the Great Hall! Damn this stupid woman and her stupid story. It makes my brain hurt even more than trying to figure out how time travel would actually work. I'll try to finish the last two chapters within the next month, hopefully it will be all done between Christmas and New Years. Cheers!**


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43

AN: I think after this I will have about two or three more chapters. Thanks to all my reviewers, not those flamers! If you flamed this story then you suck! If you flame then fuck you!

I walked sexily into the Great Hall. It was empty except for one person. Draco was there! He sat there in a deadly gloom in his black shirt and saggy black pants. He had slit his wrists! I was mad at him for having sex with Snape, but I felt sorry for him too. He looked just like Gerard Way with his red eyes and his pale white face.

"Draco, are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm not okay!" he screamed depressingly. I thought of the MCR song and I got even more depressed because that song always makes me cry. I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.

"Oh, Draco, why did you do it with that fucking bastard Snape?" I asked tearfully.

"I-" Draco began to say, but suddenly Lupin and Filch apparated into the room! They didn't see us.

"I'm so glad Snape and I were freed," Lupid said.

"Damn, this job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking students!" grumbled Flich.

"_Pop addelum!_" I yelled angrily, pointing my wand at them. **(Oh that is sooo not a spell.)**

"No!" Lupin shouted as chains appeared on him. Filch had run away.

You fucking perv," I laughed with the depths of evil and despair in my voice. "Now you have to tell us where Voldemort is or I'm going to torture you!"

I don't know where he is!" yelled Lupin. Suddenly Satan and Vampire ran into the room. Vampire didn't know who Satan really was.

"Oh my Satan, we were so worried about you guys," Vampire said. I sexily looked at Draco with his gothic eyes made red with contacts, black t-shirt that said _'_666' on it, and his pale skin making him look like Gerard Way. Vampire had sexy black hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero, and Satan looked just liked Brendan Urie then.

I seductively took a caramel from my pocket. And then I began sexily frenching Draco. Lupin gasped.Draco started to pull his clothes off and I could see his pale six-pack. Then Vampire took his clothes off too! Then we all started to make out while I took off my black leather bra, my black lace thong and the rest of my clothes. **(Please, like you wearing anything else you little ho.)** They both whipped their cocks out, but I didn't because I'm a girl. **(Really? I never would've guessed.)**"Oh my Satan, Draco!" I yelled as he stuck his hardness into my wetness. Then he took it out and stuck it in Vampire. I began making out with Satan.

"Oh my God!" cried Vampire.

"Oh Vampire! Vampire!" I screamed. "Oh Satan!" yelled Harry in pleasure. Lupin watched in shock. We took turns casting curses on each other because we're all sadists.

Suddenly a big, black car that said _'_666' on the license plate flew straight through the windows. And Snape was in it!


	44. Chapter 44

**AN: Well, here it is guys. The final chapter. Boy am I glad to be done with this shit.**

Chapter 44.

AN: Well I have nothing to say so everyone stop glamming, ok? **(Zoe's AN: I honestly have no clue what "glamming" is or what it's supposed to be.) **If any gothic people are reading this then you rock! OMG, I still can't wait for the movie. Tom Felton is so hot. I hope Harry will become gothic because my friend told me his is really emo in this book. **(Zoe's AN: He's less emo and more dealing with regular teenage angst on top of having to save the world.) **OMFG, I'm leaving Dublin pretty soon, I can't wait! This will probably be the last chapter until I come back. **(Zoe's AN: Well she obviously didn't come back. Maybe she died.)**

"That's my car!" shouted Draco angrily. But suddenly it was revealed who was in the car. It was Snape!

"I shall free you from Lupin but first you must help me kill these idiotic dunderheads," he said cruelly as his car circled overhead. "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed! Then the Dark Lord will never die!"

"You fucking prep!" yelled Draco. Then he sadly looked at me. "I forgot to tell you, Ebony. Snape made me do it with him. I didn't really have sex with him, but he's a rapist!"

We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. He changed into a man with green eyes, no nose, a gray robe, and white skin. He had changed into Voldemort! We were so scared! **(Zoe's AN: Wait when were their clothes off?)**

"I knew who you were all along," he cackled at me. "Now I shall kill you all!" Thunder sounded in the room.

"No, please don't kill us!" pleaded Vampire. Suddenly Willow, B'loody Mary, Diablo, Ginny, Dracula, Fred and George, Hagrid, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Sirious and Lucius all ran in.

"What is the meaning of this?" Dumbledore asked angrily. Voldemort looked away (because Dumbledore is the only wizard he is afraid of). Voldemort then said a spell which caused his broom to come flying towards him sexily. He evilly flew above the roof on his broomstick.

"Oh my God!" Slughorn gasped.

"The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!" Snape ejaculated angrily.

"You fucking preppy fags!" Sirius shouted angrily.

"I know a four-letter word for dirt… _Crucio!_" Harry yelled, **(Zoe's AN: Somebody needs to learn how to count. Crucio is clearly six letters and is a word used for causing pain. It has nothing to do with dirt)**but the sparks from his wand only hit Draco's car. It fell and Snape rolled out of it and quickly picked up the video camera. "Oh my fucking God!" I cried, because the video of me in the bathroom doing it with Draco, and the video of Satan doing it with someone were on there!

"If you kill me then these videos will be shown to everyone in the school. Then you can be just like that gothic girl, Paris Hilton," said Snape. **(Whoa now. Paris Hilton is not goth, and if she was that would mean that Tara likes her. Which means Tara likes Paris Hilton, which means she isn't really goth. Mind blown. Also this is proof that Tara was a troll.)**

"No!" I screamed. "For your information I have a picture of you doing it with Lupin."

"What's she talking about?" slurred Lupin in his chains.

"She said she's gonna show everyone the picture!" Harry screamed.

"Shut up!" Lupin roared.

"Foolish ignoramuses!" yelled Voldemort from his broomstick. "You will all die soon!"

"Think again you fucking Muggle poser!" Harry yelled. Then he, Diablo and Neville all took out black guns. But Voldemort had a gun too! **(Gunfight? YEEEEES Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll all die.)**

"You guys are in a Latin standoff!" I yelled desperately. **(What's a Latin standoff?)**

"Accio Neville's wand!" cried Voldemort, and Neville's wand flew into his hand. "Now I shall kill all of you and Ebony will die!"

He created lightning in the sky.

"Save us Ebony!" Dumbledore cried.

I sexily cried. I just wanted to go back to the common room and slit my wrists while my friends and I watched _Shark Attack 3_ and _Saw 2_. And I wanted to do it with Draco, but I knew I had something more important to do.

"_Avada Kedavra!" _I shouted.

**AN: And here ends the story of Ebony or Enoby, whichever you prefer. My theory is that when she shouted Avada Kedavra she somehow killed everyone in the room. And then this explosion led to the **_**real**_** Harry Potter characters being replaced in the story. And while they do occasionally wake up screaming to nightmares of being goth, and worshipping this absolutely awful girl named Ebony, that's all they are. Dreams.**

**Ta-ta my loyal readers!**


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